


Stolen Hearts

by ReyNimanSolo



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Crime Boss!Ben, F/M, Grief, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Infidelity, Mutual Pining, Organized Crime, Reylo - Freeform, Semi-Public Sex, Slow Burn, Special Agent!Rey, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:07:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24802819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyNimanSolo/pseuds/ReyNimanSolo
Summary: Ben Solo, leader of the First Order Syndicate, has just surrendered himself to the US Government, and more specifically, to Special Agent Rey Kenobi.With Ben turned state’s evidence, Rey is about to make the bust of a lifetime, one that will elevate her career to new heights. Things are going according to plan until she uncovers a conspiracy deep within the FBI that threatens everything.Rey soon finds herself on the run with Ben. Everything will be alright. All she has to do is stay alive and stop herself from falling in love with him.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 90
Kudos: 177





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Cops and robbers and lovers. Oh, my.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She mentally chastises herself for how flustered she is, telling herself it’s a normal response to the excitement of what she’s just accomplished. It doesn’t have a single thing to do with the fact that in less than six hours, she is going to come face-to-face with Ben Solo. The man she’s been hunting for almost five years. The man she’s gotten to know more intimately than she cares to admit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let’s have some fun, shall we?
> 
> Major Character Death happens in this chapter. It's not Ben.

SSA Rey Kenobi receives two phone calls less than five minutes apart. The first one sends her soaring into the stratosphere with excitement. The second one brings her entire world shattering down.

“We got him, Kenobi. He surrendered to the US Marshals two hours ago.”

Rey’s heart pumps in her chest. He’d done it. He’d given himself up just as he’d promised her he would. Now that it’s over and he’s safely in custody, she allows herself to acknowledge the small part of her that’s been convinced he’s been lying to her all along.

“Where is he now?” Her fingers shake as she adjusts the volume on her headset.

“Enroute to Mendota. They’re waiting for you to decide where you want him next.”

“When does he arrive?”

“ETA is 1700 today.”

Rey’s eyes slide to the clock hanging next to her office door. Her heart beats twice for each tick of the second hand. If she leaves within the hour, she can be there before he arrives. Just barely.

“I want him held at Mendota for now. Make sure he’s segregated. I don’t want to take any chances with his safety.”

“Yes, ma’am. Anything else?”

Rey pauses, a brief moment of doubt washing through her about what she plans to do next. She brushes it off. This is the culmination of four and a half years of backbreaking work. No one will question her judgement. No one besides her, that is.

“Inform the Marshals I’m on the way. I expect to arrive by 1600.”

Rey holds her breath, waiting for the other Agent’s response.

He doesn’t hesitate. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll be sure everyone knows to expect your arrival.”

The moment the phone rests back on her desk, Rey pulls her headset off and lets out the breath she’s been holding.

She mentally chastises herself for how flustered she is, telling herself it’s a normal response to the excitement of what she’s just accomplished. It doesn’t have a single thing to do with the fact that in less than six hours, she is going to come face-to-face with Ben Solo. The man she’s been hunting for almost five years. The man she’s gotten to know more intimately than she'll ever admit.

A rush of guilt weighs her down. She’s done everything in her power to keep from crossing the line but she would be a liar if she said they weren't skating a very thin edge. There are things, intimate things, Ben knows about her that Poe doesn’t, including the fact that she finds Ben dangerously attractive. She'd let that little factoid slip into one of their OTR conversations when a lonely heart and too many drinks had loosened her reins.

Stinging heat burns behind her eyelids. Rey presses her palms into her eyes and breathes deep, trying to push everything back inside so she can think. Poe is a good man even if he isn’t the best husband. And, it’s not as though anyone’s lining up to give her a Wife of the Year award.

A thin smile curves at the corners of her mouth as she remembers the first time they'd met. She’d been a freshly minted Special Agent, on the job for just two short months. Her coworker, Rose, with whom she’d had a budding friendship, had insisted they go to a party together. Rose had had her eyes on someone, a beautiful dark-skinned man who wore his white dress uniform well. Rey had reluctantly agreed.

Poe had swooped in, smooth and low, just the way he flies. He’d patiently coaxed her into a casual conversation. Her heart skips even now when she recalls the warm interest in his voice. She’d been enchanted by his bedroom eyes and gentle demeanour. They’d married less than six months later.

After two years, the realities of living with someone who was still largely a stranger while juggling their rising careers had cooled the initial heat of their relationship. Ever the wanderer in search of his next great adventure, she’d felt Poe slipping away. He’d started spending more and more of his time with a petite blonde pilot named Connix. Though Rey never had any real proof, her heart lay heavy with suspicion. Lt. Connix had caused more than her share of shouting matches between them.

One of their last arguments had exploded when Poe had angrily denied her accusation that he was sleeping with his co-pilot and she'd followed it up with the painful subject of starting a family. Rey cringes even now at the hurt and desperation they’d heaped upon each other over the mention of children in the face of their disintegrating marriage.

Three days had passed with barely a word between them. It had reached the point where the clock had run out. He’d been eating cereal at the kitchen counter when she’d come in to pour herself a cup of coffee.

“I’ve been promoted. To Supervisory Special Agent.” She’d dropped the words into the still waters between them, waiting for them to ripple out and grow.

There’d been a moment of tense silence, then his chair had scraped back and the next thing she’d known, he’d thrown his arms around her. “Rey, that’s great! I can’t believe it!” He’d planted an awkward kiss on her cheek. “This calls for a celebration.”

Rey had held her breath while he’d searched the cabinets for wine glasses, heart pounding with dread. “The job is in San Francisco.”

He’d gone still, the quiet descending like a death shroud. “What? San Francisco? Rey, I can’t just pick up and go to California.”

She’d turned and looked at him at last. “I wasn’t asking you to come with me, Poe. I’m telling you what’s happening.”

He’d set the mismatched glasses on the counter, face pale and drawn. “Jesus, Rey.” His hand had trembled as he’d run it across the short curls of his hair. “Can’t we talk about this?”

The tears had overwhelmed her but she’d held firm. “It’s too late. I leave in two days.”

Her plan had been to file for divorce before leaving but he’d convinced her that time apart was just what they needed. Poe Dameron, eternal optimist. Later, when he’d made love to her, it had ended with both of them in tears.

Her vision is blurry for a moment when she takes her hands from her face. Rey’s about to pull out her small hand mirror to check her appearance when her phone rings.

Some of her earlier excitement returns when she sees AD Raddus dialing in. She tempers her voice when she answers, expecting his congratulations on a job well done.

“Agent Kenobi, report to my office at once.” There’s no elation in Raddus’s voice, only the cold steel edge of grave circumstances waiting to break loose.

The smile on Rey’s face disappears. Something is very wrong.

“Sir? Is this about Ben Solo?” _Shit._ She knew it! Should have just had him transferred instead of making the decision to go to him instead. Raddus must have gotten wind of her plans and he’s clearly not happy about them.

“Report to my office immediately. That’s an order.”

“Yes, sir.” Rey hangs up with a shaking hand. There’s a pit in her stomach that grows by the second. She takes a moment to fix her appearance before heading to Raddus’s office.

Raddus’s receptionist stands when Rey arrives, eyes full of sad pity. “He’s expecting you. Please go in.”

She knows the moment she opens the door to his office that his phone call has nothing to do with Ben Solo and everything to do with her husband. The presence of the Sergeant Major says it all.

“Poe’s dead?”

“Rey, please. Have a seat.”

Raddus’s use of her first name is more confirmation. Rey swallows against the sharp constriction in her throat and eases herself onto the edge of the free chair.

“Sir?” She tries to clear the croak in her voice.

The Army officer turns in his seat to face her, eyes devoid of emotion.

“Mrs. Dameron, on behalf of the President of the United States and the US Army, I regret to inform you that Commander Dameron is deceased.”

The finality hits Rey like a ton of bricks. She sinks against the chair, air hissing from her lungs.

“How? When?”

“Ma’am, if I may suggest, take a moment to digest the news.”

She sits tall, fury lighting across her nerves. “With all due respect, sir, I don’t need a moment. I need answers.”

The Sergeant Major’s eyes slide to Raddus’s. Rey doesn’t miss the slight nod Raddus gives the man.

It strikes like lightning.

“Deceased? Not killed in the line of duty?” The pit in her stomach grows infinitely larger, threatening to consume her.

“Correct, ma’am. He was piloting a private aircraft near Tampa when his plane went down.”

Rey’s head spins. “Tampa? What are you talking about? Why was he in Tampa?”

The Sergeant Major remains ramrod straight. “We were hoping you could tell us.”

It doesn’t make sense. She’d talked to Poe just the night before, listening to him tell her how much he missed her, couldn’t wait to see her. They’d made a lot of progress on the road to reconciliation over the past four months. He’d surprised her by saying he’d finally gotten some time off and promised he’d come to San Francisco in two weeks. The announcement of his visit had stilled her tongue and she’d held back from telling him her good news, wanting to wait and do it in person.

Nothing had seemed out of place. It was a repeat of the conversation they had more often than not lately. Mundane. Ordinary.

What in the holy hell had he been doing almost a thousand miles from where he was supposed to be? And, more importantly, whose plane had he been flying?

It hits her again, harder this time.

Something is very wrong.

* * *

The days following Poe’s death are a blur of tightly-held grief and intense interrogation by the military and FBI that leave her hollowed out and drifting. Who knew there were so many decisions to make when someone young died unexpectedly? It’s overwhelming and Rey’s beyond grateful to Rose and Finn, who came to be with her the moment she broke the terrible news.

Despite the murky circumstances surrounding his death, Poe is given full military honours, compliments of the US Army. Rey manages to hold herself together until the very end. It's when they play "Taps" and begin folding Poe’s burial flag that the grief finally breaks her. Rose and Finn are there to help her home though she can’t remember quite when or how it happened.

When she wakes, it’s dark and still. Her apartment has the hollow ring of emptiness. Rain batters against the window glass next to her bed. She lays in the quiet for a long time, mind numb, feelings hollow.

Someone, probably Finn, has left a half sandwich on a plate by her bedside next to a glass of water. The thoughtful tenderness sets loose a jagged fit of tears. It's not fucking fair! Rey screams into the dark of her bedroom. Her fingers claw into her hair.

"It's not fucking fair." She whimpers while hot tears stain her pillow.

There hadn't been time to tell him. She'd only learned the news herself a few short weeks ago. It hadn't had time to sink in yet and it certainly hadn't seemed like the kind of thing a wife shares with her estranged husband over the telephone.

She realises with another deep stab of pain that today is the day he'd planned to arrive in California. They should be laying here together, in the soft warmth of her bed making love and planning for their future, a new future. Instead, Poe lies cold and rotting in his grave and she's trapped in the strangling hold of sweat-damp sheets and too much silence.

Perhaps it's nothing more than pure human instinct but the sudden need to understand steals through her mind. _Why_ has life seen fit to rip him away from her just when things were about to be alright? For all the long hours of questioning Rey endured, answers to her own questions had gone largely ignored. The answers she did receive had been vague and open to interpretation.

Rey sits up in bed, palms rubbing away the last of her tears. Sudden fury conjures another scream deep within her chest. Her fingers claw in the sheets, digging hard to keep the sound from escaping. Sweat beads her forehead with the effort of staying silent.

When her voice breaks free at last, it isn't a scream but the soft sibilance of Poe’s name.

Determination as much as hunger makes her eat the limp sandwich and finish the water. She’s still wearing her funeral gown. Sudden nausea threatens to unseat her meal. Rey dashes for the bathroom, skin slicked in sweat. The porcelain is cool beneath her palms. Somehow she manages to keep from vomiting but she’s not sure it’s the best choice. Her stomach roils, sending acid to burn the back of her throat.

She’s tempted to press her cheek to the cool glass of the shower stall but she’s still afraid to move. At last, her stomach begins to settle though her throat still tingles with the bitter taste of bile. When she’s sure she can move without throwing up, Rey claws at the offending dress, tearing more than one seam in her haste to peel it from her clammy skin. The image of watching it burn at the bottom of a trash can goes through her head and Rey thinks she’d like to see that very much.

She pulls free of it at last, kicking it behind the toilet. Rey manages to stand on legs made of rubber and start the shower. The water begins to steam as she finishes undressing. It’s warmth touches her skin, cleansing and cathartic. She takes her time, enjoying the sensation of washing herself whole. By the time she’s finished, Rey feels more like herself.

Answers. She needs answers and the best way to get them is to go back to work. It matters not one bit that the official story is that Poe was piloting for pleasure when a mechanical error caused the plane to go down. Poe’s too good of a pilot for that to ever happen. And, it doesn’t answer the question of who’s plane he was flying, nor does it answer why.

Once she’s back in her office, she can search through the databases for information. Her clearance is enough to get her into most Federal facilities. Rey’s thoughts come to a screeching halt.

_Ben_

Dear gods. Her head goes light with a rush of adrenaline. She’s forgotten all about him. Panic claws at her middle and turns her limbs to jelly. Her phone. She needs to find it. After a frantic search, she locates it on her kitchen counter, plugged in and fully charged. Rey picks it up to dial and realises she has no idea who she intends to call. It’s after midnight, in any case.

Agitation makes her pace across her small living room. The first thing to do is find out where he is. It takes a moment to log in to her computer. From there, it’s a quick search. Rey heaves a huge sigh of relief. He’s still being held at Mendota. Knowing he’s still in custody and that he’s still safe eases her unrest.

The feeling of relief is short-lived, crushed beneath the massive wave of guilt that pounds down through her. She knows beyond a doubt that the time for telling herself it’s all a charade, just part of the job, is over. It doesn’t matter whether she’s ever touched Ben’s skin or run her fingers through the dark waves of his hair, ever felt the heat of his mouth or the heavy slide of his cock inside her. She’s guilty either way.

Because she is irrevocably, undeniably in love with Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone’s keeping secrets.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The simplest option is to have Ben transferred to San Francisco. Rey spends half the morning trying to make it happen, frustrated by the slow-moving bureaucracy. Going through the regular channels will take at least seventy-two hours. It’s too long.
> 
> Rey circles back to her original plan. Her eyes fall to the clock beside her door. An unwelcome wave of grief crashes through her. So much of her life has changed since she last looked at it. She swipes an angry hand across her eyes and picks up the phone, determined to push through.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With Ben in custody, what could possibly go wrong?

“SSA Kenobi. Shouldn’t you be out on leave?”

“Sir, after much consideration, the best place for me is here. Right before…” She swallows hard against the sudden constriction in her throat. Rey tries again, keeping the conversation to business. “Three weeks ago, I had a major break in the Syndicate investigation. If too much more time passes, we may lose our chance to leverage it.”

“You’re talking about Ben Solo.”

Stinging heat touches her cheeks. “Yes, sir. When he turned himself in, it was with the express agreement that he wouldn’t be held in a cell. Due to recent circumstances, he’s been locked up for far too long already. If we don’t hold up our end of the deal, and quick, he may change his mind about turning state’s evidence.”

Raddus gives her a hard look.

Rey feels desperation creeping over her. “Sir, I’ve spent the last four and a half years of my career on this investigation. You can’t ask me to just walk away from that.”

“I’m fully aware of how much you have invested in this.” Raddus shifts in his seat. “You’ve been through a traumatic event, Agent Kenobi. I need to know it won’t impact your ability to do your job. Neither of us can afford to jeopardise this investigation.”

“It won’t, sir. I can assure you.”

“Given your history, I’m not entirely convinced that’s true.”

“But, sir—”

Raddus holds up a hand, indicating she should stop talking.

“I’m granting your request to return to duty on the condition that you see a therapist every week.”

Rey hates shrinks but there's no other choice. She bites back her bitter reply, knowing that anything she says will be a waste of breath and time.

“Yes, sir.”

Raddus sets his glasses back on his nose and turns to his computer. “That’s all for now. You can start back tomorrow, Agent Kenobi.”

“Thank you, sir.”

* * *

Her office smells dusty and unused when she unlocks the door. She takes a moment to open the window. Cool air, fresh with the scent of petrichor wafts through the stuffy room. Rey eyes the little pot with its stubborn cactus to see if it needs water while she waits for her computer to warm up.

The simplest option is to have Ben transferred to San Francisco. Rey spends half the morning trying to make it happen, frustrated by the slow-moving bureaucracy. Going through the regular channels will take at least seventy-two hours. It’s too long.

Rey circles back to her original plan. Her eyes fall to the clock beside her door. An unwelcome wave of grief crashes through her. So much of her life has changed since she last looked at it. She swipes an angry hand across her eyes and picks up the phone, determined to push through.

It takes less than an hour to make all the arrangements and file the appropriate paperwork. Another hour and she’s dropping down the backside of the Altamont Pass into the wide, open plains of the Central Valley. Recent rains have washed away the usual brown haze, leaving her a clear view to the jagged, snow-covered Sierras.

With the difficult city driving behind her, Rey’s mind begins to drift. It isn’t long before she’s imagining how it will be to see him. She wonders what he'll smell like. A traitorous thrill coils along her spine and lodges in her belly.

Rey stabs an angry finger at the radio, trying to find a new station as she moves out of range of her preset stations. Thoughts like that are dangerous and can't be allowed to blossom.

"Get a grip, Rey," she tells herself.

It isn't long before she decides the best course of action is to keep as much distance between them as she can. She doesn't need to share space with him to talk to him. They can meet like all the other prisoners, with bulletproof glass between them, or better yet, via the facility's teleconferencing system. That will be a clear indication of her intent to keep their interactions well out of personal range.

Rey allows herself to feel the disappointment of maintaining their distance. Ignoring it will only give it an opportunity to take root and blossom in the worst possible way. Her decision not to see him in person in light of recent events feels like a safe choice in a reality turned chaotic and disorienting.

She makes good time. Once she’s at the facility, it takes thirty agonising minutes to move through the prison’s security checkpoints and establish her authority. Even though she knows he won’t be able to see her, Rey takes a few precious moments in the ladies room to straighten her appearance.

She’s escorted into the private viewing area of an interrogation room behind the one-way glass. The stark white room on the other side is empty for now. Her heart hammers against her ribs while she waits. After what seems forever, a door on the far wall opens, allowing two guards to escort Ben into the room.

Her breath catches with an audible hitch. She watches as the guards secure his shackles to a sturdy metal eyelet anchored into the table.

Ben's face is battered, black and blue. It’s obvious someone broke his nose. The fingers of one hand are taped together.

Shocked and furious, Rey manages to keep her voice steady. “What happened?”

“Six inmates jumped him in the exercise yard two days ago.”

“Six?” _Jesus._ He should have more than a broken nose and a few busted fingers if it’s true.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Six,” she says again, voiced edged with fierce skepticism.

“Never seen anything like it. It’s like he has superpowers or something.” Admiration lights the young man’s face. The light fades under her withering glare.

“You watched it happen?” Her blood boils. “And, didn’t think to stop it?”

“Yes. I mean, no ma’am.” A heated flush colours the flustered young man's face. “I didn’t actually see it happen, only watched the video after the fact.”

Could the situation possibly get any worse?

“There’s video of the incident circulating around?”

The young guard looks as though he’s about to piss himself. He curses under his breath.

“Yes, ma’am,” he says.

_R'iia fucking help her_

Rey can’t remember a time she’s been more enraged. These idiots may have single-handedly undone years of her work in the space of days. “What was he doing around other inmates? My orders were specific. He was to be held in segregation.”

“There was a mix-up with the paperwork.”

"Unacceptable. Get me the names of everyone involved by the end of today, including yours.”

The guard swallows his panic, throat hitching. “Yes, ma’am.”

There’s only one way to gauge the damage. If there’s any chance of mending his broken trust, she needs to look him in the eyes when she apologises, her earlier promise about keeping her distance from him be damned. “Open the door.”

The guard closest to the door swipes his card through the reader, unlocking it. He holds it open for her.

In spite of her anger, or maybe because of it, Rey’s heart speeds when she enters the main interrogation room. His hair strikes her first. It’s the longest she’s seen it. He wears a thin mustache and light goatee. Only his eyes, blackened from the fight, remain familiar. The threat of violence lies thick in the room.

The mood shifts when his gaze lights on her. “Agent Kenobi. I thought you’d forgotten about me.”

 _How could I forget?_ Rey quashes the thought as soon as it rises, refusing to acknowledge it.

“Mr. Solo. Are you okay? Do you need medical treatment?”

He gives her the lopsided smile that never fails to flip her stomach. “If past experience in this place is any indication, I’ll take my chances without it.”

“I’m sorry for what happened. I promise the people who allowed it will be punished.”

He flips his hair off his forehead. “Whatever you say, sweetheart. You’re in charge.”

His words both thrill and anger her. He’s crossing the line and they both know it.

"I'll ask again. Mr. Solo, are you in need of medical attention?"

“I, Benjamin Skywalker Solo, do hereby state for the record that I am refusing SSA Kenobi’s offer of medical treatment for injuries I suffered while in Federal custody.”

Rey slides into the seat across from him. “Ben, stop it." She says the words under her breath. “I can’t help you if you don’t cooperate.”

He edges as close to her as his restraints allow, voice low in the space between them. The faint scent of industrial soap lilts across her nose. “Way I see it, you stopped helping me three weeks ago.” He leans back in his chair, eyes fixed on her. “As I said, you’re in charge.”

Aware of the guards watching behind the glass and the ever-present video cameras, Rey pushes ahead.

“For your continued safety, I’m having you transferred, effective immediately. You’ll be held in Federal remand under twenty-four hour guard. An ankle monitor will be required at all times. Your continued cooperation into our investigation is a requirement of this arrangement. Any violation will result in immediate incarceration at San Quentin and you will be tried for crimes already on record.”

He leans his forearms on the edge of the table, a smirk crooking his features. “I do hope this means we’ll be spending a lot more time together, Agent Kenobi.”

She’s glad her back is to the one-way glass. It means Ben is the only one privy to the heat flooding her cheeks. “Do you understand the terms of our agreement? Please state your answer out loud for the record, Mr. Solo.”

He hums and eases back into his chair. “Got it. How soon do we leave? This place sucks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading along!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey sits beside him on the plane. A US Marshal in plain clothes sits across the aisle, pretending to work a crossword. 
> 
> Ben’s been staring out the window, broody and silent since they boarded. His suit jacket rests across his lap, hiding his hands. She startles when he speaks at last. His voice is rich, so much different in person than anything heard through cables and wires. 
> 
> “Where were you?” he asks without looking away from the window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit’s about to go sideways.

Rey’s cell phone rings as she’s signing the last of the paperwork to release Ben into her custody.

“Kenobi,” she says as she slots the phone between her ear and shoulder.

“Agent Kenobi, this is Assistant Director Pryde, San Diego Bureau.”

Rey sits up and puts her pen down so she can hold her phone in her hand.

“Sir?”

“Is Ben Solo currently in your custody?”

“Yes, sir.” The ink is drying on that deal. “He’s being prepped for transport back to San Francisco as we speak, sir.”

“Change of plans, Agent Kenobi. You’re to escort him to San Diego, effective immediately.”

Rey’s heart drops into her stomach. This cannot be happening. “Sir, with all due respect, Mr. Solo is integral to an ongoing investigation involving the San Francisco Bureau. We have jurisdiction.”

“Have you been watching the news, Agent?”

She hasn’t, her sole focus on retrieving Ben. “No, sir. Why?”

“Five million dollars worth of Teslas bound for the Netherlands were stolen off a cargo ship docked in San Diego last night. Inside information points the finger squarely at the First Order Syndicate. We need you to bring Mr. Solo to San Diego for questioning immediately.”

_Shit_

As much as she wants Ben back on her home turf, the stakes have just gone up. The trail is fresh and the Syndicate can’t be too far ahead. A chaotic thrill bolts through her system. There’s never been a better time to crack through the Syndicate’s armor.

There’s only one problem. If there’s any chance of bringing them down, she needs Ben to talk and she’s not entirely sure he’s still willing. Not that she blames him. This whole thing has been a clusterfuck from the moment he turned himself in.

“Agent Kenobi, are you still there?”

“Yes, sir. I’ll need to make arrangements to have my vehicle returned to San Francisco.”

“Do it quick. Your flight leaves in an hour.”

* * *

Rey sits beside him on the plane. A US Marshal in plain clothes sits across the aisle, pretending to work a crossword.

Ben’s been staring out the window, broody and silent since they boarded. His suit jacket rests across his lap, hiding his hands. She startles when he speaks at last. His voice is different, so much richer in person than anything heard through cables and wires.

“Where were you?” he asks without looking away from the window.

Rey swallows hard. For all the months they've spent getting to know and trust each other, she never managed to tell him about her marriage to Poe. Now is certainly not the time. She makes herself look at him even if he won’t look back. If she can't tell him the truth, the least she can do is look at him when she lies.

“I got called away by a personal matter,” she answers. “I’m sorry about what happened. You have my word, nothing like it will happen again.”

Electricity bolts across her nerves when he turns toward her. Eyes shadowed by fading yellow bruises roam over her face before dipping lower. “You’re smaller than I remember,” he says.

Caught off-guard, she replies with the first thing that comes to mind. “You’re bigger.”

He chuckles, sending another guilty wave of excitement across her body. His face grows serious. There’s heat in his stare she doesn’t want to acknowledge. “You’re also more beautiful.”

Shocked at his brazen declaration, Rey casts a furtive glance at their companion across the aisle, fearful he’s listening to their exchange. If he is, he doesn’t show it, engrossed in his puzzle.

"Mr. Solo, need I remind you that everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law?"

"Since when is telling a woman you find her wildly attractive a crime?"

Rey's composure slips. "Cut the bullshit, Ben. It's not going to work."

He leans closer while Rey holds her ground, unwilling to back down.

"You'll let me know when you change your mind?" he asks, voice low and meant only for her.

That does it. Rey leans over the aisle, fingers grazing the Marshal's shoulder.

"Take my seat. I have to use the bathroom."

He gives them a quick appraisal then gets up as told.

Rey waits until the Marshal settles into her spot before heading to the toilets. She blots her face with dampened paper towels, trying to cool some of the flush. Anger at herself makes it difficult to calm her nerves.

He's clearly using her guilt over the beating he took in her absence to push her buttons. That's enough to help her over the hurdle. What happened to him was unfortunate but it wasn't her fault. She’s the one with the dead husband and he doesn’t seem too worse for the wear despite his ordeal.

Rey spends the remainder of the short flight in the Marshal's seat, away from Ben. She finishes the crossword, fixing all the Marshal's incorrect answers for the solve.

When they deplane, she leads with Ben, arm curled through his like they're lovers in an attempt to conceal the fact that he’s her prisoner. He holds the jacket of his suit draped over his hands to hide his shackles from public view as they move through the terminal. The Marshal stays in tight formation just behind them.

"Agent Kenobi?" For all that they are dressed to blend in with the rest of the travelers, Rey knows professionals when she sees them.

"Who are you?" she asks.

The younger one gives her a discreet flash of badge. "Sargent Mitaka, SDPD. The Commissioner requested extra security while the asset is in transit."

Rey hides her suspicion with an easy smile. "We'll follow you."

They start off again, Rey and Ben boxed between the undercovers and the Marshal. She clings tighter to Ben's arm and leans into him while they walk.

“Something’s not right about all this,” she whispers to him. “I didn’t request backup and no one informed me they’d be here.” His arm tenses beneath her strong grip.

“Shit. They're Syndicate, not cops."

Her suspicion twists into sharp awareness. Rey doesn’t like the direction things are going.

"Please tell me you’re carrying,” he says.

“Do not insult me.”

“That’s my girl.”

Her heart skips a beat. Rey tells herself its the adrenaline of escalating trouble and not the praise Ben's just given her.

“There are others, we just can’t see them yet, but they’re here,” he says. “They’ll get us on an elevator and hold us there until everyone else gets off. That’s when it gets messy.”

There’s no time to call anything in without alerting the imposters that she’s on to them.

“If you’ve got a Plan B, now would be a good time to include me,” she says.

He makes short work of telling her his plan. It’s simple and straightforward. Rey doesn’t have any better ideas.

“Ready?” she asks.

“As ever. Do it. Do it now.”

When shit goes down, Rey’s surprised at how smooth their escape is. She doesn’t even have to pull her weapon. There’s a brief moment of disorienting calm before they’re crashing through a restricted zone. They dash up a set of deserted stairs. Ben stumbles once, shackled wrists keeping him off-balance.

“Here. This floor. Go,” he says.

Rey rushes through the exit into a hallway lined with elevator doors. The one closest chimes, its indicator light going from red to green.

“Stay calm,” he says as the doors slide open.

There are already people crowded into the lift. Rey pushes her way into the throng over the protests of the others. Ben squeezes in after her. He’s so close she has to turn her face to the side so she doesn’t suffocate in his shirt. His back is warm against her cheek.

_Stay calm. Stay calm. Stay calm._

Not easy when her heart is ravening and all she can smell is the alluring scent of him.

When the elevator stops, he's the first one off. She follows without question as he leads them through another set of stairs and on to a different elevator.

It's her turn to have her back to him. Thankfully, the elevator is less crowded giving her plenty of space to keep distance between them.

“Stay on,” he says when the lift stops.

No one gets off but five people, including an elderly woman with a walker wait to get on. Everyone waits for Rey to step back so the woman can get on but moving means getting closer to Ben so she stays where she is.

There’s an uncomfortable pause. None of the other riders are willing to get on until the old lady has a chance. The elevator doors begin sliding shut. Ben jams his foot into the gap just in time. The doors slide back open.

Everyone’s staring when Ben leans down so that his mouth is next to her ear.

"Move back so she has room to stand."

Her lips part at the rich sound of his voice so close to her ear. She can smell the faint tang of prison disinfectant on his clothes before he rights himself.

She takes a small step back, relieved when there's still space between her and Ben. The woman with the walker takes a step inside. It's clear Rey hasn't moved back far enough to allow room for her. She swallows and takes another small step back.

Strong fingers grasp the back of her coat and pull hard. Rey lets out a surprised sound as she takes two stumbling steps backward.

Her back lands solid and hard against him. She does her best to shift away but there isn’t anywhere to go.

The coat hiding his restraints also serves to hide the fact that his hands are large enough to span her hips, even shackled. There’s tension in his touch and Rey realises he’s doing his best to keep whatever space he can between them as the overcrowded lift sways on its way to the next floor.

The lift’s motion presses them together for a brief moment despite his attempts to counter it. His fingers tighten against her hips. 

Rey digs her teeth into her bottom lip, fighting the shiver tingling in her belly. Her eyes focus on the digital readout announcing each floor they pass, determined to ignore the growing heat where they touch.

When the doors open, it takes far too long for the woman with the walker to move. As soon as there’s enough room, Rey steps forward.

“Let me stand in front of you. I'll be able to spot them before you do.”

Against her better judgement, Rey gives Ben the space in front of the doors, stepping behind him for cover.

“Stay on until I tell you otherwise,” Ben says.

Sudden anger at his commanding tone clears her head. She’s the one in charge here, not him. Her anger morphs into stark realisation. Except it isn’t true. She hasn’t been in charge since she helped a Federal prisoner escape custody.

She’s fucked.

“What now?” she whispers once they’re moving again.

He turns his face over his shoulder. “Once I get us to the first level of the sub-basement, we’ll have a real shot at getting out of here.”

The blood drains from her face as it hits her. It’s all too neat, too tidy. Things are going exactly as someone has planned. The trust she’s placed in him evaporates.

Rey goes rigid, realisation dawning. She finds herself in exactly the situation he warned her against. Only, as far as she can tell, she’s sharing this elevator ride with unsuspecting civilians and one Ben Solo, master manipulator. Her awareness grows as the lift continues to empty and he keeps her pinned down.

He’s waiting for everyone else to get off. So things can get messy. She doubts he misses the way she slides her hand beneath her coat. There’s no mistaking the sound of her gun unholstering.

“Easy,” he whispers.

R'iia help her, _his voice._ Heart pounding, Rey holds her weapon tucked beneath her armpit, ready to draw.

“I know what you’re thinking but you’re wrong.” He turns, slow and cautious. Ben draws a sharp breath when she digs the barrel of her gun into his chest. “I don’t want to kill you,” he says.

That draws a fearful side-long glance from their last remaining companion.

“Mind your own business,” she snaps at the man without taking her attention away from Ben.

The rider jabs his finger against the button for the next available floor, trying in vain to hurry things up.

The height difference works to her advantage. If she pulls the trigger, the upward angle will obliterate Ben's lungs and heart, maybe even shatter his beautiful face.

“What is this?” She presses the bore of the gun deeper into his chest.

His eyes are dark, all traces of their usual golden brown eclipsed by excitement. “It’s a chance.”

Animal awareness lights along her nerves as the elevator glides to a stop. “A chance for what?”

The final passenger can’t escape fast enough. Rey pays him no mind.

“What are you talking about?” she asks as the elevator doors swish shut.

“A new beginning.”

The moment they’re alone, he shoves his body into hers, pinning her to the wall and trapping her weapon at a dangerous angle between them. If she tries to fire, she has as much chance of hitting herself as she does him.

Rey manages to pull her finger off the trigger and tries to free herself.

“Stop.” He pushes into her with more force. “I want to kiss you, not kill you.”

“Ben, that’s not—” Rey squeaks when his mouth crashes into hers.

It’s wrong. So very, very wrong when she kisses him back. Of all the things that have gone sideways in the last twenty-four hours, one thing is for certain.

Things have just gotten very messy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like it so far, let me know.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They don’t waste time arguing, each taking cover in the corners next to the doors. The elevator gives a soft jolt as it slots into place.
> 
> “Clock position followed by shirt colour. Call them as you see them,” she says, naming their targets. “Expert. I don’t miss.”
> 
> “You’re beautiful,” he says as his shackles fall into a useless, clanking pile of metal against the floor. He swings his suit coat into place across his shoulders.
> 
> The doors slide open before she can admonish him.
> 
> He takes a fast look into the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Runnin' with the Devil

It’s the ding of the elevator that saves her.

Ben pulls away, face full of regretful longing. “We have to go. Give me your gun.”

Rey curses her moment of weakness and moves as far back from him as possible. The elevator’s too small to get out of range of his reach. “Forget about it. Not happening.”

They don’t waste time arguing, each taking cover in the corners next to the doors. The elevator gives a soft jolt as it slots into place.

“Clock position followed by shirt colour. Call them as you see them,” she says, naming their targets. “Expert. I don’t miss.”

“You’re beautiful,” he says as his shackles fall into a useless, clanking pile of metal against the floor. He swings his suit coat into place across his shoulders.

The doors slide open before she can admonish him.

He takes a fast look into the hallway. “Clear, for now.”

The quickest way out of this is to get free of the airport. She can call for backup then. Rey follows him off the lift doing her best to keep her weapon both concealed and ready.

He winds them through corridors and leads them down concrete stairwells. His pace slows when they reach the bottom. A single door remains. The lighted keypad next to the lock is an ominous indicator of their vulnerable position. It’s a long way back up and she feels like a fish in a barrel.

Rey watches as he keys in a sequence of numbers. Heavy stones of distrust stack higher with each button he presses. The lock disengages with a metallic ring that echoes through the stairwell.

“Come on. Let’s get out of here.” Ben moves through the door with Rey on his heels.

It looks like any other level of a typical subterranean parking garage. The security on the door they just breached says otherwise.

They move through slotted rows of drab government-issue vehicles until they reach an area designated for personal autos. He points to the one he wants.

“There. That one.”

Rey scoffs at the Tesla he’s pointing to. “You can’t be serious.”

He looks over his shoulder, a crooked smile quirking his mouth. “You have a better idea?”

She glances around, hoping for a miracle. It arrives in the form of a Dodge Charger Hellcat.

“The blue one,” she says. Rey follows him toward the car, thoughts already on which window is best to break so they can gain access.

She almost crashes into him when he stops moving. Before she knows what’s happening, he turns. His hands are warm and firm when he catches her face between them and kisses her.

“I love you,” he says, voice gruff.

There isn't time to think about whether he's caught up in the heat of the moment or whether his words hold real meaning.

They both look up when the loud clank of a closing door echoes through the vast space. Everything’s still, no sign of anyone else. All Rey has to do is look at Ben to know he understands they’re no longer alone.

He stops next to the Charger. The Tesla sits waiting, five slots down.

“Give me your phone,” he says.

Rey balks. “Why?”

A volley of gunshots ricochet off a concrete pillar five feet to her left.

“Rey, please,” he says as they duck low between the parked cars.

She unlocks her phone then slides it into his palm. The barrel of her gun peeks over the edge of her cover, searching for the shooter. Nothing moves until the distinct sound of a V8 engine growling to life breaks her concentration. She looks at Ben over her shoulder.

He’s hunched low. His focus rises from her phone to her.

“I’m driving,” he says. “On my mark, get in the Tesla.”

Ben taps his finger on her phone. A klaxon of alarms shrieks through the air.

“Now!”

She can’t hear his voice over the noise but his message is loud and clear.

Rey gives one final look toward the shooter’s last known position then bolts for the Tesla, still crouched low. She can’t hear the gunshots but she can see the silver indentations that bloom in the quarter panels of the cars she passes.

A brief moment of panic has her thinking she’ll find the car’s door locked when she pulls the handle. It opens wide, offering sanctuary instead. Rey slides in. There’s barely enough time to swing the door shut before the car backs up in a squeal of rubber.

A dull thud punches through the trunk followed by another. Glass shatters as the back window blows in.

“Seat belt,” he says as they round the first corner.

Her phone lands in her lap.

“Pull the battery.” He doesn’t spare her a glance, his focus on winding his way out of the maze.

She hesitates. The phone is the only tether she has left to the illusion that she's still in charge and that this is all just a misunderstanding she can resolve with a few well-placed calls.

He glances in the rearview mirror. “Dammit, Rey. Pull the fucking battery or we’re as good as dead.”

Shaking hands make quick work of the task.

“Hang on.”

Rey braces herself into turn after turn, stomach growing queasy.

They hit the final barrier, startling the two guards as they shatter wood and rip through metal.

Bright sunshine blinds her after the dim parking garage. The warm tang of ocean air floods through the broken back window whipping her hair against her cheeks.

Ben loops them around the airport terminal.

“What are you doing?” she asks when he takes the exit to return to the airport instead of heading for the freeway.

“We need a different car. This one's compromised."

He rolls to a stop at the long-term lot and takes a ticket from the machine.

"Ben, this is crazy. The field office is just up the freeway."

"No good. Some of your people work for me."

Rey opens her mouth to say something but closes it without a word.

He circles the lot until he spots what he's looking for.

"There." Rey follows his line of his sight. "As soon as I stop the car, get on the shuttle."

"No."

He gives her an incredulous look. "What?"

Rey turns in her seat, gun pointed at him. "I don't know what you think you're doing but whatever it is, I don't want any part of it."

Ben slams on the brakes.

She manages to hold on to her gun but the momentary distraction gives him enough space to wrap his hand over hers and pin the weapon against the dash.

“Get on the shuttle, Rey. I’ll do whatever you want once we’re safe.” He releases her hand. “Please.”

It’s the sheer panic in his eyes that convinces her.

There's really not much in the way of choices. “Fine, but I’m driving next time,” she says.

A huge smile chases the uncertainty from his face. He looks out the windshield and goes after the shuttle. The car accelerates fast enough to snap her back into her seat. They quickly overtake the shuttle.

“I’m going to park then we run to the pick-up point. We’ll split up on the shuttle.”

Rey gives a sarcastic little laugh. “You can’t possibly think I’m that stupid.”

“I’m not going to leave you.” He says it without looking at her and for that, she’s thankful. It means he can’t see what his words have done to her.

“Look, I’ll get on first, then you’ll be between me and the exit.” Ben slides the car into an empty slot between two other vehicles even though there are plenty of open spaces.

They make it to the shuttle stop as it rounds the bend. Rey has just enough time to holster her weapon.

“We’re getting off at the third stop.” It’s the last thing he says to her for the next ten minutes.

Rey keeps him in the corner of her eye, surprised when he moves forward with the crowd exiting at the second stop. He stands next to her seat, one hand gripping the overhead rail. Her eyebrows go up when he takes a standard green backpack from the luggage rack. She doesn’t even try to pretend she isn’t watching.

Ben zips open the main compartment. He pulls a baseball cap from inside and shoves it into her hands. A second hat goes on his own head. His eyes lock on hers. He doesn’t have to say anything. Rey settles the hat on her head. She does the same with the zippered hoodie he gives her.

They move with the flow of people. Rey gets off first, stepping out of the crowd. Somehow Ben’s managed to put five people between them. She’s relieved when he steps off the bus.

“Follow that group,” he says as he walks past her without slowing. “Make it look like we’re not together but stick close.”

She speeds her steps until she’s caught up with the other riders. Ben keeps himself visible but apart from her. Halfway to the terminal, he slides closer.

“Come on, this way.”

Rey follows him when they peel off from the group. He’s scanning the vehicles, finally stopping beside a black Toyota Camry.

“A little plain for your tastes, isn’t it?” she asks.

He grins at her as he slides a cell phone from one of the backpack's pockets. “Plain is exactly what we need right now.” After a few taps on the screen, Rey hears the distinct sound of the doors unlocking. “Still want to drive?”

Rey slides into the driver’s seat. Ben gets in the passenger side, the backpack shoved on the floor between his legs. He opens the glove box and tosses her the key fob.

“Let’s get out of here,” he says.

It’s quiet until Rey has them heading north on the 5 freeway. “We’re going back to San Francisco.”

“I figured as much.” He’s hunched over digging through the stolen backpack.

“That’s it? You’re not even going to try to talk me out of it?”

“You’ll be safe in San Francisco.” Ben goes still for a moment then sits back. His hand comes up, pointing a gun. The barrel is steady against her cheek. “Give me your weapon.”

Cold fear uncoils in her belly. “If you shoot, we both die.”

He slides his hand between her thighs until the barrel presses to the inside of her left knee. “I don’t have to kill you, only incapacitate you. Give me your gun.” His face is deadly serious.

Rey fights the urge to squirm away from his touch. She’s shaking as she unholsters her weapon and hands it over.

His breath hisses out and she realises he’s been holding it.

“Thank you.” Her gun disappears into his backpack. He keeps his trained on her.

“Is that really necessary?” she asks.

“Pull over at the next exit.”

Panic grips her lungs and squeezes her heart. She knows what’s coming. “You’re going to dump me off.”

“I already told you, I’m not leaving you.”

This time when he says it, the words sound heavy and ominous. For the first time, Rey’s afraid of him. Her fingers tighten on the wheel even as she moves into the exit lane.

“Pull into the first gas station so we can switch.”

Her heart hammers. There’s really only one option left. Once she’s out of the car, there’s no way in hell she’s getting back in with him. All she has to do is make it inside the station’s mini-mart and start screaming. She can sort the rest out later.

“Please don’t try to run. I don’t want to have to kill you.”

A cold shiver slithers down her back. She knows this man. He’s done worse for less. Killing an FBI Agent isn’t going to make any difference to him in the long run.

He makes her give him the keys. They switch seats without incident. Ben takes a moment to lock the backpack with her gun in the trunk. He keeps hold of his weapon.

The silence descends once they start moving again. Rey stares out the window at the passing landscape. It’s beautiful but she can’t enjoy it.

“You had help.”

“I called in a favour.”

“What are you going to do to me?” she asks.

He turns to look at her, face stricken. “You think I’m going to hurt you? I’m keeping you safe.”

Rey scoffs. “Funny, considering how you keep threatening to kill me.”

“I’m not—” His voice cuts off without finishing his denial. “I’m taking you back to San Francisco. You’ll be safe there.”

“And then what? You just disappear into thin air?” In spite of her fear, the thought of not seeing him again makes her heart ache. Everything’s a confusing mix of emotions that makes it hard to think straight.

He doesn’t answer.

Rey’s heart sinks when he slides onto an exit ramp fifteen minutes later. “What, now?” she asks.

“We need to hole up for a bit. Getting back to San Francisco isn’t as simple as just driving north. By now, everyone’s looking for us. If we’re going to make it, I need to call in a few more favours.”

There’s no choice but to go along.

They turn left, heading toward the ocean until they’re almost out of streets. Ben pulls up to a sturdy metal gate. After entering a code into the keypad next to the short driveway, the gate parts in two, opening the way.

He pulls through and parks, waiting until the gates close behind them to turn off the car.

“When we get out, I’m going to give you back your gun.”

Rey gives him a sharp look, unsure whether he’s serious.

Ben gets out and opens the trunk.

She curses under her breath before getting out to follow him. It’s only after her weapon is back in its holster beneath her jacket that she relaxes enough to notice her surroundings.

“Is this your house?” From the little she can see of it, it’s stunning. The sound of the ocean rolls over the high garden walls.

“Officially, no. Unofficially, yes.”

“Of course,” she mutters.

“Come on, let’s get inside. I need to make some phone calls.”

A shiver goes up her arm when he takes her hand. Rey follows behind, gawking at the splendor around her. The level of luxury is far beyond anything she’s ever experienced before. Her fingers burn with the desire to touch everything. She keeps them to herself.

The air inside is cooler. There’s so much to look at, her eyes skip around the spaces until she’s dizzy. She’s so busy gawking, she crashes into him when he stops to set his backpack down.

Ben turns, hand twisting to keep a hold on hers. Then he’s close. Too close. The fresh air has chased away the sour scent of the prison, leaving behind only warm masculinity. It's intoxicating.

The hand not holding hers touches her face.

Instinct makes her flatten her free hand on his chest in an attempt to keep some distance. She ignores the solid strength of him beneath her palm and the way it makes the warmth already blooming in her belly turn to heat.

“Sorry, I wasn’t paying—”

He doesn’t wait for her to finish. “I want to kiss you again.”

It isn't fair, what his words do to her. The longing in his voice is enough to make her resolve waver. She pushes harder, trying to make him move back before it’s too late. “I don’t think that’s a good idea under the circumstances.”

His hand leaves her face, finding the hand resting on his shirt.

She watches him bring it to his mouth without trying to stop him. Her lips part with a quiet sound when he places a light kiss on her palm.

“Ben.” She means to say no but the rest of the words won’t come.

His hand touches her cheek again, urging her forward until her mouth is almost on his. His breath is warm on her skin but he doesn’t kiss her, not yet. He’s so close she can feel the tempting weight of his presence all around her.

A shiny coffin draped in the American flag shears through her thoughts. Her pulse skips at lightspeed.

"Don’t, please,” she whispers, eyes brimming with sudden tears.

His expression clouds for a moment then turns gentle. “I can wait.”

He lets go and moves away, leaving her alone with her traitorous, racing heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, the story has veered from its original axis. The good news is that it means the sex happens much sooner than anticipated.
> 
> Apologies if you received a notification earlier about this chapter going live. I hit publish a wee bit too soon. Hopefully, it was worth the wait.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freedom waits just beyond the steps leading away from his house. She longs to feel the sand's fading warmth between her toes but the desire to stay is stronger. It makes her realise she's not planning to escape, at least, not yet.
> 
> Rey’s mind drifts like the shifting sands, sifting through the past as she tries to pinpoint where it all went so wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A brief glimpse into the past because without the past, there can be no future.

Rey stands unmoving in the middle of the beautiful room, breath quick, throat tight, as she tries to squeeze back the burning sting of shameful tears.

“Fuck.”

She presses her palms against her eyes trying to figure out exactly how she ended up in this insane situation where she's not quite a prisoner, her gun and phone are testament to that, and she's also not quite free to leave. Hasn’t been for a long time. It's a strange, disorienting realisation.

Untethered, Rey drifts toward the bank of windows at the back of the house. She slips through the glass door onto the deck.

The sun edges toward the sea, still bright with a hint of late afternoon warmth. The beach stretches out before her, sugar fine and mostly empty of people. Occasional gusts of sea breeze kiss her skin.

Freedom waits just beyond the steps leading away from his house. She longs to feel the sand's fading warmth between her toes but the desire to stay is stronger. It makes her realise she's not planning to escape, at least, not yet.

Rey’s mind drifts like the shifting sands, sifting through the past as she tries to pinpoint where it all went so wrong.

* * *

It’s late, later than late, when she finally makes it to her car. She’d texted Poe earlier, as soon as it had become clear that her whole day was fucked to the point where their scheduled phone call had no chance of happening. She’d promised to text him when she got home. With the time difference, it’s better to wait until she’s crawling beneath her covers so she doesn’t wake him too early.

She’s unlocking her car door when running footfalls echo through the parking structure. A car alarm shrieks to life. On sudden alert, Rey abandons her keys in favour of her gun, eyes searching for the source of the commotion.

It’s easy to spot the offending car making all the racket but there’s no sign of anyone. The alarm is too loud to hear whether the person is still in her vicinity, still running. Rey sweeps around looking for unfriendlies, comes up empty.

Sudden silence falls like a damp wool, muting her hearing. Other than a steady trickle of water to her right, it’s silent.

“Hello?”

A gunshot splits the air. Rey screams and ducks, scrambling around the front of her car for cover.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

She’s trembling but her gun is steady when she peeks over her hood. Nothing. And, the gunshot wasn’t aimed at her. It doesn’t exactly make her feel better. Time to go.

Her heart’s still racing when she pulls up to the security gate. She clears security without alerting the guard to the gunshot. It’s going to come back to bite her but it’s the least of her worries right now. She’ll deal with it as soon as she can, confident her reason for not reporting it will hold up under scrutiny.

The streets of San Francisco are never empty but Rey finds herself in the quiet space between midnight and the first wave of people leaving the clubs in search of food. It’s almost peaceful, lending the city an ethereal glow. It helps ease the torrent of thoughts cascading through her mind. Clusterfuck doesn’t even begin to describe the last eighteen hours. She’ll be lucky if she doesn’t end up stationed in some backwater, desert hellhole, career over just when it was about to begin.

“By now, I hope I have your attention, Agent Kenobi.” The voice is deep, male. And right behind her.

Rey screams and slams on the brakes, sending her car skidding across the lanes. When it stops, she whirls to look in the back seat, expecting to find a man.

“Oh, god.” Her heart pounds to the point of nearly passing out. She’s alone. Rey drops back into the driver’s seat, palms sweaty. Her gun feels good in her hand.

“You can holster your weapon. No one’s going to hurt you.”

She manages to keep her next scream to a gruff shout. Her eyes light on her dash.

“Jesus. What the fuck?”

The radio is on the Bluetooth setting. She knows without a doubt it was set to public radio. Has been since her Bluetooth stopped working three days ago and she quit trying to use it out of sheer frustration.

“I apologise for the unconventional means of communication.” His voice purrs through her car's audio system. “Please start driving. This conversation will be over if you are pulled over by the police.”

Sudden anger makes her push back. “Tell me who you are first,” she says.

The silence goes on long enough that she thinks the connection has been severed. “Hello?”

“Drive.”

What choice does she have? She can’t stay parked in the middle of Polk. Lights blaze through her back window followed by the long bleat of an angry car horn. A taxi zips around her in a squeal of tires, its driver shaking an agitated fist her way.

Rey accelerates, hooking left on Hayes instead of toward the Bay Bridge and home. If the caller can hack her car’s Bluetooth, he certainly has access to her GPS. On a hunch, Rey points a finger at the radio’s off button, stopping just short of touching it.

“I won’t contact you again if you hang up on me, Ms. Kenobi.”

Video. Rey glances around trying to find the camera.

“Give me one reason not to,” she says. A quiet hiss leaks through the speakers. Rey recognises it as exasperation from her caller.

There’s another long pause before the voice speaks again. “Ben Solo.”

That sets her heart racing all over again. He’s the cause of all her troubles, has been for the past three years. His games of cat-and-mouse are growing ever more taunting in nature. It’s maddening.

“What about him?”

“He wishes to speak with you.”

“Why should I believe you?”

“You shouldn’t. Trust no one, Agent Kenobi. The instructions are in your glovebox. Failure to follow any of them will result in an immediate termination of his interest.”

Rey makes quick work of gauging the road ahead before leaning over to slap open the glovebox. In addition to the crumpled wads of fast food napkins and tangles of obsolete charging cables, there's a small manila envelope. Her name is written across the front in elaborate, hand-drawn calligraphy.

“The clock runs out at noon tomorrow.”

There’s nothing to indicate that they’ve been disconnected but Rey knows without a doubt that her caller is gone. She turns the radio off.

The envelope rests in her lap for the rest of the trip home. She’s able to keep herself from tearing it open. Just barely. It’s impossible to tell what’s inside. The right thing, the safe thing to do is take it, unopened, into the lab and have it analysed.

She leaves it on the entry table next to her keys. Her mind won’t stop churning even as she stands beneath the warm shower. The conversation keeps replaying on repeat. She turns it over and over, trying to slot it into everything else that’s happening. It doesn’t quite fit, no matter which way she angles it.

Something’s different about this.

Rey’s brushing her teeth when she finally looks at herself in the mirror and admits what she’s known all along. She’s going to open it, proper protocol be damned.

After carefully slitting the envelope’s seal, she pulls out a folded sheet of cheap, mass-produced printer stock with dense laser print on both sides. Something drops to the bottom of the envelope. Rey sweeps her fingers inside but doesn’t feel anything. She tips the envelope upside down, palm open to catch anything that falls out. A small sheet of thick paper bounces off her hand and lands on the floor.

Rey pinches it between two fingers, careful to steer clear of any potential fingerprints. She uses the ends of two pens to unfold the note. Unlike the larger sheet, this one is handwritten. Elegant script flows across the creamy surface of the paper.

> _Ms. Kenobi,_
> 
> _I’ve been watching your career with great interest. I’m very much looking forward to speaking with you and hope you will accept my offer to connect._
> 
> _Until then, I’ll think of little else._
> 
> _Ben Solo_

Rey drops the note as though it’s on fire. Is this someone’s idea of a fucking joke? She paces her living room, hair clutched in her hand, while she tries to catch her breath. This is crazy. The larger note waits untouched and unread. It’s too much to deal with. She’s so tired she can’t think straight. That’s when mistakes get made.

Exhaustion drains the last of her energy. Rey leaves everything where it’s fallen and drags herself beneath her covers, all thoughts of texting Poe forgotten in the spinning vortex of her thoughts.

Her sleep drifts between dreams and nightmares. The caller’s voice invades both with dark, unrelenting allure.

_At night, desperate to sleep, you imagine an ocean…_

She wakes, groggy and grumpy, to the grey pall of morning. A glance at the clock tells her she’s managed to get four hours of tossing and turning. The dull spike of a growing headache splits the middle of her forehead.

Six in the morning. Rey groans into her pillow as the events of yesterday swarm in. She shoves the covers aside and pads to the kitchen. Only when she’s had the first hot sips of coffee does she work her way back toward the abandoned contents of the envelope.

She doesn’t bother with the little note. The words are burned into her memory. It’s the bigger sheet she’s interested in this time.

With the larger paper pinched between tweezers, Rey settles at her desk. She uses a pen to unfold it. It’s covered in a mix of letters, digits, and non-standard characters. To anyone else, it would look like the gibberish spit out by a printer that’s lost its mind. Rey knows exactly what it is.

Embedded in the gibberish is an OTR fingerprint along with a username and a server address.

Warm excitement tingles in her belly. If it’s legitimate, it will be the first major break she’s had in her investigation in months. After yesterday's debacle, she's in desperate need of a win.

Rey glances at the clock. It’s closing in on seven. The deadline is still five hours away. There was no mention of any penalty for making contact before that time, only after.

The prudent thing to do is notify her SAC of the situation, starting with last night’s gunshot and ending with the invitation to engage in an untraceable, encrypted text exchange with someone claiming to be Ben Solo. The last thing she needs is more trouble heaped onto the quickly growing pile.

Rey ignores the voice in her head screaming at her to do the right thing and call it in. Instead, she burns most of another hour creating a new, encrypted account, following the instructions she's been given down to the last letter. Her heart thuds against her ribs when she clears the last barrier. The screen goes dark, only the blinking white bar indicating that the portal is live.

Nothing happens. She’ll be damned if she’s the first to make contact beyond this point. The cursor on her screen blinks with increasing mockery until she’s certain noon will come and go with nothing to show but empty pixels.

Rey tries to distract herself by engaging in mundane chores around the house. Each time she approaches her computer, she leaves disappointed. The clock creeps closer to the appointed hour while her screen remains blank.

She’s texting Poe when her resolve breaks. “Dammit.”

Her phone clatters against the counter, forgotten in her haste to get to her keyboard. Her fingers find the keys she’s looking for. She pauses, finger hovering over the enter key as the clock ticks down. Before she can change her mind, Rey hits send.

_Mr. Solo?_

The response is immediate.

_Yes_

Goosebumps break out across her skin. Her heart’s pounding so hard she can feel it throughout her body. She types her next message and hits send.

_Wherever you are, you are hard to find_

_And, you’re hard to get rid of_

_I’m going to find you. And, when I do, I’m going to bring you and the First Order down_

_I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to that, Rey…_

* * *

The dull roar of a large wave crashing against the shore drags Rey out of the past and back into the present. The sun has sunk low enough to touch the water's edge and the onshore breeze has cooled. Rey doesn't remember when, but at some point she crossed the deck because she finds herself poised at the top of the first step to the beach.

The memory of their first text exchange bleeds out in her mind. Snatches of other conversations rush in to fill the space.

 _"I want to hear your voice again, Rey."_ Their instant messages had turned to phone calls.

 _"I want to see your face."_ The phone calls to video chats.

_"I want to feel your skin beneath my hands."_

“Rey.”

She jumps at the sound of his voice, eyes locked on the distant horizon. If she doesn’t look at him, there’s still a chance to save herself. It’s three short steps to freedom. She takes the first one, hand steady on the rail.

“Please, don’t run.” The soft, pleading tone of his voice digs sharp claws deep into her heart.

Rey takes another step down.

“I love you,” he says.

Three, softly-spoken words is all it takes to shatter the illusion she’s been desperately clinging to. The last tethers of the lies she’s been telling herself slip free, leaving her unmoored. The sun disappears below the horizon, taking the light with it as she turns to face him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are about to slow down even as they heat up.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cold wind licks at the tears trailing down her cheeks, a stark reminder of the reality she finds herself in. Poe’s dead and nothing can change that. She can’t take back any of the things she’s done, can’t ever make things right with Poe. It doesn’t matter now that she’d planned to come clean, tell him everything, walk away from Ben Solo and everything associated with him, including her job, if it meant making things right. 
> 
> Now, it’s too late. Beyond too late.
> 
> Poe’s dead. But, Ben’s alive. And, she’s in love with him, in spite of everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst. Pure and simple.

“What happens now?” she asks.

He leans against the open door. One hand slides into his pocket. He’s traded his stale suit for a casual long-sleeved shirt and dark athletic pants. His feet are bare and he’s removed his watch.

“It depends.”

“On what?” Her words are barely loud enough to reach her own ears.

He sighs. The hand in his pocket comes up to run through his damp hair before he looks at her. “On whether you insist on making me chase after you again.” The hand slides back into his pocket. “Or whether you come inside with me instead.”

Her fingers tighten on the rail but her feet stay planted on the steps. She has every reason in the world to leave and one horribly, fatally flawed reason to stay. The battle to choose rages inside her, tearing her apart.

He sighs again and straightens. “I’ll be in the kitchen making dinner.”

She watches him disappear inside before turning back toward the ocean. The sky is a riot of pink and orange splashed across the growing cobalt of approaching darkness.

Venus winks to life, a bright beacon for her to follow. Unlike the stars around it, its light holds steady, never wavering. The decision she makes right now needs to be just as unwavering.

Cold wind licks at the tears trailing down her cheeks, a stark reminder of the reality she finds herself in. Poe’s dead and nothing can change that. She can’t take back any of the things she’s done, can’t ever make things right with Poe. It doesn’t matter now that she’d planned to come clean, tell him everything, walk away from Ben Solo and everything associated with him, including her job, if it meant making things right.

Now, it’s too late. Beyond too late.

Poe’s dead. But, Ben’s alive. And, she’s in love with him, in spite of everything.

Rey takes one last look at Venus, shining bright, and chooses her course. This time, her eyes remain dry.

“Poe, I'm so sorry.” She lets the words drift away into the chilly wind.

It’s much easier than it has any right to be when she ascends the steps and lets herself into the house.

Clanking pots and running water lead her to the kitchen.

Her pulse skips when he looks up at her. The smile on his face nearly breaks her heart.

"Hi," she says because she can't think of anything better to say.

"Hi." Ben straightens from the sink, wiping his hands on a towel. "You okay?"

Rey shrugs. "Not sure yet."

"Help me with dinner? Cooking helps me relax, gives me room to think.”

Rey's no wizard in the kitchen but she's willing to try, especially if what he says is true. She could use a little less adrenaline and a little more time to think right about now.

"Sure."

He tasks her with dicing vegetables.

Rey hacks away at a bell pepper, seeds and uneven chunks flying around the cutting board.

"Easy, there. No need to mutilate the produce. Who taught you to cut vegetables anyway?”

Rey goes still. No one. That's the answer. Poe had been just as hopeless in the kitchen. The pain that stabs her chest is sharp enough to steal her breath.

If he notices her distress, he doesn’t let on. “Whoever they were, they should be banned from the kitchen."

Before she can stop him, he slots himself behind her. Long arms allow him to keep a small gap between them as he reaches around her, caging her in. His fingers trail over the back of her wrist until they curl around the hand holding the knife.

“You’re left-handed. I like a challenge.” She shivers as he helps her scrape the mess aside.

“Start with a new one,” he says.

When Rey has the pepper in her hand, he holds his over hers. “Like this.” He helps her slice off the end with the stem. "Now, get your fingers in there, pull out the seed core. It should come right out if you pull from the bottom."

His warmth sinks into her back, carrying the crisp scent of a recent shower.

“Follow the ribs, see?” He sets the pepper on its base and guides the tip of the knife along the creases, separating the pepper into its natural sections.

“You can trim away the white parts, if you like. It’s not necessary but some people prefer it without.”

He resettles behind her, pressing closer until the space between them disappears. His grip on her hands grows as does his warmth against her back.

"It should be smooth when you cut. Use long strokes and try to keep the pieces all the same size, like this." He makes slow work of helping her slice the pepper into thin strips.

She's caught in a powerful riptide of grief and exhilaration. Something that feels like panic but isn’t rises inside her. It’s impossible to focus on what their hands are doing when all she can think about is the way his body feels where it touches hers.

His chin nearly rests on her shoulder so that when he turns his face, it's almost buried against her neck. "I love the way you smell," he whispers.

“Oh, god.” She pulls her hands free of his, twisting in his arms until she’s facing him. In her haste, she misses his mouth.

He grunts in surprise when her mouth lands hard beneath his chin. His hands circle her upper arms, holding her in place.

Rey tenses. Mortified by her clumsy attempt to kiss him, she leans away, back arching against the countertop. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m not myself.”

He relaxes his hold but doesn’t let go. “It’s okay. Believe me, I know the feeling.” His hands are warm through the sleeves of her shirt.

Desire makes her head swim.

“Let’s make dinner first,” he says.

Her heart’s pounding so hard she can feel it against her ribs. “Or, not. I’m a terrible cook.”

There’s a quiet pause then he’s laughing and Rey’s sure she’s never heard anything more wonderful.

A giggle slips from her mouth, then another, until she’s laughing, too.

He lets go to grab his stomach, trying to contain his fit. It only makes her laugh harder. She grips the countertop behind her to hold herself steady.

When the laughter fades, it leaves behind something new and electric. The light is back in his eyes, stronger than before.

“It’s not fair,” she says, all traces of laughter gone.

Confusion pinches his features. “What’s not fair?”

“The way you look at me.”

“How do I look at you?”

“Like you want to kiss me.”

The light in his eyes intensifies, threatening to ignite her from the inside. “I do want to kiss you.”

Ben moves closer but doesn’t touch. His hands rest on the counter’s edge just outside hers. All she has to do is let go so she can pull him closer and it will be all over.

“Then, why don’t you?” she asks.

_I want to feel your skin beneath my hands_

“Because if I kiss you now, I won’t be able to stop.”

Breath quick and short, Rey places her palm over his heart. She uses his distraction to catch him off-guard. This time, she doesn’t miss.

He makes a surprised sound in the back of his throat then he’s kissing her back with enough force to bend her deep into the countertop. His hands span her waist so he can lift her onto the counter.

She finds herself looking down at him from her new position. Rey sinks her fingers into his hair, hanging on as though she’s drowning and he’s the last bit of air.

He doesn’t stop her when she brings her mouth back to his. Far from it. His hands wrap low around her hips until they grab her ass. He scoots her closer until she’s at the edge of the counter.

Ben resettles between her legs, pressing into her, eager with excitement.

It’s like touching a live wire, touching off a blaze in her belly. Rey gasps against his lips, hands tightening in his hair.

He uses the break in their kiss to move his mouth lower. His lips and tongue do wicked things to her throat.

Her hands leave his hair to claw at his shirt, yanking to get him to remove it.

“We have to stop,” he says without slowing his fevered kisses along her throat.

“It’s too late.” There’s no stopping this.

Rey whines when he draws away.

He pulls her hands from his clothes. “We have to talk.”

“Too late,” she says again.

He frustrates her attempt to kiss him. “Rey, stop.”

She’s come too far, given up too much, for that. “I can’t.”

He leaves behind a cold void when he steps out of her embrace. “It was a set-up, all of it, this, us. From the very beginning.”

His admission sizzles through her like ice water on a raging bonfire. It leaves her dizzy and out of breath. “What?”

He swipes a distressed hand through his hair. “You were supposed to be my ticket out,” he says.

Rey slides off the counter, heart in her throat. “Ben, what are you saying?”

“It was a long-game.” He gives her a bitter little laugh. “My best one, in fact."

Understanding comes in a punishing hail of shame and heartache. She's not sure her legs can hold her. “You used me?”

The stricken look on his face says it all.

_dear gods_

"You were supposed to be my way out of this life."

Fury mixed with crushing despair makes her blood boil. “And, now? What am I now?”

Rey side steps when he tries to touch her. “Don’t! You’ve no right.”

“I know I don’t. But, please, listen. I’m trying to do the right thing for once. Have been since I decided to surrender. Rey, you're safe here with me."

Rey scoffs. She hasn't been safe since she heard his voice pouring through her car speakers the first time he'd contacted her.

She has to get out of here. She has to leave.

He blocks her way when she breaks for the door.

"Get out of my way, Ben."

"You don't get to leave. Not until you admit you're just as guilty as I am."

Fury lights through her. “How dare you? You’ve been lying to me from the start, manipulating me, _using me.”_

He moves before she does, fierce and possessive.

Her hands push against his chest as he struggles to get a hold on her. She slaps at him, trying to remain free of his control. It’s no use. He’s too big and powerful. Rey fights back even when he has her pinned against the door frame.

"Poe," he says, voice thick with emotion.

The word punches her in the sternum. Is there anything about her life he doesn’t know? It's enough to lessen her struggles. Her head spins as his body sinks into hers. Damn him for the way he feels against her.

“Tell me about Poe.”

Her face pinches in before a bitter smile splits her face. There’s no doubt he already knows exactly who Poe is to her. She also knows he’s going to make her say it.

“Poe’s dead.”

He presses closer, mouth ghosting beneath her ear. “Not good enough, Rey.”

A new surge of anger enrages her. Everything's hot and bright. Rey shoves him back. Her fists pound against his chest. He catches them in his grip before she can hit him again.

“He’s dead, okay?" She jerks but can't break free. "Poe doesn’t matter anymore because he’s dead and I’m in love with you! What more do you want?” She’s shaking, on the edge of hysteria.

His breath skips then he’s kissing her and there’s nothing she can do to stop it. Rey gives in, hands frantic in their need to feel his skin beneath her hands.

Ben breaks away, leaving her panting and uncertain of what’s going to happen. He eases onto his knees, holding firm while he lowers himself to the floor. Warm hands steady on her hips with gentle possessiveness. He lays the flat of one hand on her lower belly while pleading eyes look up at her. “And, the baby?”

Her eyes widen, breath ripped from her chest. She’s told no one. It’s wrong. All wrong that Ben’s staking his claim to something that, by all rights, should belong to Poe. Panic gives her the strength to shove Ben off balance then she's running for the door, desperate to escape the flaming wreckage of her life before any more if it can explode.

_At night, desperate to sleep, you imagine an ocean…_

Drawn forward like the tides, Rey races across the deck, clearing the steps with a single jump until her feet touch freedom. Cold sand seeps between her toes. She runs as fast as she can.

“Rey!”

She doesn't look back even when she feels his footsteps pounding through the sand as he runs to catch up.

The water hits her legs, colder than she expects. Shock stops her in her tracks, allowing him to reach her.

His arms wrap around her from behind, pulling her into his chest. He swings them toward the shore with enough force to make her feet leave the ground. The next wave skims her toes.

Rey holds tight, hands digging into his forearms, until their momentum slows and he sets her on her feet.

They both gasp when the next wave crashes over their legs.

In the lull between sets, she turns until the only thing left in the world is the way his arms hold her tight. Her mouth finds his so fast she’s not sure she’ll ever be in control of anything ever again.

Strong hands clasp together beneath her thighs, drawing her from the water. She clings to his neck and wraps her legs around his waist, trying to stay clear of the rising tide.

Another wave rocks them in its current, breaking their kiss even as it pushes them closer.

“You're the only one who's ever given me a chance. Please, don't walk away now.” His face is drawn and serious.

Her breath catches. She puts one hand to his cheek and brings her mouth to his. He holds her tighter but keeps his mouth closed.

Though she tries, he won’t let her in.

Rey pulls away, searching his face for answers.

“Take a breath and hold it,” he says.

“What?” she asks, confused.

“Breath,” he says. There’s urgency in the way he shifts his grip and tightens his hold.

She catches her breath just in time as he leans into the oncoming wave, submerging them beneath the sea.

The world goes cold and dark and mute. Roiling sand scrapes along every bit of exposed skin, harsh and cleansing. He’s a warm cage around her, trapping her beneath the heavy, swaying tide.

When it feels as though her lungs will burst, she begins to struggle in his embrace. He stands, pulling them above the surface.

Still clinging to him, Rey draws in great lungfuls of salt air.

Clean. Outside and in.

When she kisses him, his mouth is warm and he tastes of the sea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. That was a lot. Everyone okay?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She flinches away when he reaches for her. It does nothing to deter him. Ben crowds into her space, guiding her back until she’s trapped between him and the sink. He gathers her wrists in his hands and pulls them behind her until they’re pressed to her low back. One of his hands is large enough to hold both of hers, freeing his other. He brushes wet strands of hair off her cheek.
> 
> “Not wanting to be touched isn’t the same as not wanting to touch.” His fingers ghost across her lips. “I want to touch you, Rey. Everywhere. It’s all I’ve thought about for so long.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get a little closer. Don't be shy.

He wades free of the surf and sets her on her feet. Without saying anything, he reaches out a hand.

Rey stares at it a moment then looks at him. His fear is almost enough to eclipse his hope. It’s breathtaking.

“Please.” Crashing surf steals the sound of his voice but she knows what he’s asking just the same.

Her fingers come to rest against his open palm. She watches his lips part with a shudder and knows she’s hopelessly caught in his riptide. As soon as he has possession of her hand, he turns toward the house.

Rey follows behind him, hand clutched in his. When they reach the deck he sweeps her up again and carries her inside. It's warmer out of the wind but she's shivering so hard her teeth clack together.

He slows as he moves up the stairs. His grip tightens, smoothing out his gait. It's dark, too dark to really see anything but it doesn't matter. She’s seen enough.

Subtle lighting brings his room to life when he carries her inside. She has just enough time to catch a glimpse before he moves into the bathroom.

The tiles are cold against her feet when he sets her down. Rey wraps her arms around herself trying to calm her shivers. She watches Ben start the shower.

“You need to get warm,” he says.

Rey fumbles with her shirt buttons. Cold fingers and wet cotton make it difficult and frustrating.

“Here, let me help you.”

She drops her arms to her sides, giving him permission.

His fingers shake, with cold or excitement, she can’t tell. Still, he manages to undo all the buttons. The damp material clings to her, leaving a narrow strip of bare skin visible from her throat to her navel.

He eases his fingers beneath an open edge near her hip. His hand slides up, loosening the shirt until it peels away to expose her bra and slip off her shoulder. He does the same on the other side until her blouse smacks against the tile floor in a wet heap.

There’s a brief moment of heat before her cold shivers return.

“Can you do the rest? Or, do you need me to finish undressing you?” Rosy colour warms his cheeks despite the blue tinge to his lips.

“You’re just as cold.” Rey takes a tentative step forward. Emboldened when he doesn’t move away, she tangles her fingers in the hem of his shirt, tugging it above his waistband until she can touch his skin.

His hands circle her wrists, body gone rigid. He yanks her hands away, grip tight enough to hurt. “I can undress myself.”

Rey snatches her hands from his, confused by his reaction.

His expression softens even though his grip remains tight. “I don’t like being touched,” he says.

Confusion turns to dreadful uncertainty. Rey pulls free and crosses her arms over her chest. It serves to shield her and help her cling to a small shred of warmth. “I’m sorry.” Sudden tears sting her eyes. This is crazy. When did everything get so fucked up?

She flinches away when he reaches for her. It does nothing to deter him. Ben crowds into her space, guiding her back until she’s trapped between him and the sink. He gathers her wrists in his hands and pulls them behind her until they’re pressed to her low back. One of his hands is large enough to hold both of hers, freeing his other. He brushes wet strands of hair off her cheek.

“Not wanting to be touched isn’t the same as not wanting to touch.” His fingers ghost across her lips. “I want to touch you, Rey. Everywhere. It’s all I’ve thought about for so long.”

She’s cold and shaking, thoughts sluggish and confused.

“It also has nothing to do with this.”

Rey jumps when he kisses her. His lips are cold but his tongue is warm when she opens to him. She moans when a warm billow of steam touches her cold skin.

Ben pulls away without warning, leaving her off-balance. He wrestles them into the shower, still partially clothed.

Hot water hits her back and soaks into her pants. Her skin tightens as gooseflesh ripples across her body. Heat seeps into her fingers, making it easier to undo the fastenings of her pants. They drop to the floor, making it easy to step free. He kicks her discarded clothes aside.

Without hesitating, Ben finishes undressing. When he’s nude, he stands tall, letting her appraise him. Heavy scars twist the skin along his left side and shoulder. The same marks that decorate his face cascade across his pale skin. Her eyes skip across them, marking them to memory.

She has to physically restrain herself from touching him. To distract herself, she unclasps her bra and flings it away. Without looking at him, she balances on one leg then the other until her panties come free. Warm water cascades down her back.

Nothing moves until she dares to meet his eyes.

“Hands behind you,” he says.

Unsure of what will happen, Rey’s heart speeds as she does what he asks. The tiles are cold against her clenched fists.

He moves closer until her face is in his hands. Her eyes close as he guides her into a slow, gentle kiss. Rey lets herself fall into the sensation, exhilarated by the vulnerability of giving him control of what happens to her.

She holds steady while he washes the sand from her hair and skin. His hands light across her body, warm from friction and hot water. She’s panting, more than ready, when he shuts the water off and reaches for a towel.

He dries her before drying himself.

She watches him drop the towel, unsure of what to do next. Her hands flatten against the wall when he presses close to kiss her.

Rey draws in a sharp breath when he breaks away.

“Come to bed with me. Let me finish touching you,” he says.

She can’t help but wind her arms around his neck and kiss him. He tenses for a moment then eases into her, letting her explore his mouth.

Ben pulls away, breath quick. He untangles her hands from his neck.

Heart racing, Rey lets him guide her out of the shower and into his bed. Cool sheets touch her warm back. The mattress dips under his weight as he climbs onto the bed next to her.

Tense with uncertainty, Rey lies still. Only her eyes move, following as he leans toward his night stand. A sharp thrill spikes through her belly when he pulls a length of silken material from the drawer.

With the wide ribbon in one hand, he uses his other to encourage her hands over her head. He waits until she takes hold of the slats in his headboard to release his grip.

“If you let go.” Ben draws the silk through his fist before teasing it across her wrists. He trails the material along the underside of her arm, tracing a path to her breast. “I’ll have no choice other than to restrain you.”

Rey nearly lets go when his mouth closes over her nipple. She gasps, back arching into him for more. Her fingers tighten against the headboard, clinging on for dear life.

He edges her higher, taking his time as he kisses his way across her skin until she’s twisting beneath him, fingers numb, arms shaking, with the effort of not letting go.

Kisses become touch. His fingers drag across her skin, gentle and full of secret knowledge. He’s everywhere all at once, a wildfire raging unchecked across her body. His tongue sweeps across her lips, matching the slide of his fingers between her thighs. Rey spreads her legs and opens her mouth, pushing up into his touch. He meets her with an eager thrust of tongue and fingers, movements slow and deliberate.

When she comes, it's unexpected in its savagery. Her whole body arcs off the bed, muscles locked tight. There’s a brief moment of lucidity where she knows he’s holding her safe before the shockwave consumes her. Each time she starts to come down, he touches her again until she’s riding a new peak.

It’s finally too much. Rey shoves him away and curls into a fetal position against his chest, body still rocked by slowing tremors. The space between her legs feels huge and hot. Her hand presses hard against her thrummung skin. She whimpers, knees squeezing together as she tries to quiet herself and clear her head.

His hand sweeps along her back, grounding her without too much stimulation. He murmurs quiet, soothing sounds into her hair.

It’s a long time before the tremors stop.

Ben holds her until she goes limp. He kisses the top of her head then eases her onto her back so he can rest his head between her breasts. The rest of him curls around her. His unrelieved need presses hot and hard against the outside of her thigh. He’s trembling.

The need to comfort him rises inside her. Rey takes a chance, carding light fingers through the silky, drying strands of his hair. She does it again when he doesn’t stop her. One of his hands runs along the outside of her waist, tender and soothing.

A light breeze billows the sheer curtains into the room through the open balcony doors, bringing with it cool ocean air and the steady thunder of waves. Rey stares at the slow, steady spin of the ceiling fan, trying to find her bearings. It’s quiet, calm for the moment, but she can feel the storm brewing beneath the surface.

The silence stretches out until she wonders if he’s fallen asleep.

“I never wanted this life,” he says into the darkness. “But I’m good at it. Too good. It’s in my blood. It started when I was twelve. While all the other kids’ dads were taking them out to throw baseballs and get ice cream, my dad was teaching me to boost cars.

“By the time I was seventeen, we weren’t just stealing cars for a quick joyride, we were fulfilling orders from overseas. I’ll never forget the moment we cleared our first million. For my father, money was love. The more I brought him, the more he’d love me. It’s all bullshit, of course. I know that now.”

She stays quiet and keeps running her fingers through his hair, afraid to change anything for fear he’ll stop talking if she does.

“Pulling jobs that size doesn’t go unnoticed for long. Our success came to the attention of the Syndicate. My father flat out refused to work for them. I had no such qualms. Money like that corrupts, blackens the soul. He begged me not to join, said they were just using me for my skills, that when they were done with me, they’d kill me. I never spoke to him again.”

The mood shifts, growing ominous. Rey stops moving, fingers still tangled in his hair.

His voice drops to a whisper. "He got in over his head, wound up in a deal gone wrong with the Syndicate.”

Rey’s fingers tighten in his hair when he turns his face to place a kiss between her breasts.

“Things went bad so fast there wasn’t time to think. I only wanted to escape with my life.” He shifts, leaning into her until his mouth grazes her nipple.

The cooling heat between her thighs blazes to life. Rey fights to remain still and quiet.

“I’d run out of ammo, switched to my knife. By the time I understood, it was too late.” He kisses her other nipple then rolls into her until he rises onto his arms above her. “He was dead before I could tell him.”

Her hands come free from his hair, settling on his face. She widens her knees to give him more room, breath catching when he slots himself against the hot need between her thighs.

He’s breathing hard. When she meets his stare, she finds an exhilarating mix of vulnerability and dangerous conviction. No one’s ever looked at her the way he’s looking at her right now.

Fear mixes with the urgent desire to give him the chance she knows he deserves. Rey drags her thumb across his lips.

He groans and draws back until he’s lined up. His eyes are dark with pent-up emotion as he pushes into her.

“I never got to tell him.” His thick heat sinks deeper with each whispered word. He thrusts hard, bottoming out as the rest of his confession pours out. "How much I hate him."

“Oh gods, Ben.” Her fingers claw into his shoulders, hanging on while her body opens for him in spite everything.

His mouth is warm and urgent on hers.

When she touches too much of him, he pulls her hands away, urging her to take hold of the headboard. His arms wrap around her, pace intensifying the moment she grabs tight.

He pounds into her, mouth frenzied against her face and throat until she’s swept away. Her name falls from his lips like rain in the desert until she’s blooming beneath him once more.

His body seizes, breath caught in his lungs, frozen for a moment before letting go with a violet shudder. The weight of him steals her breath as he empties himself inside her, his face buried against her neck.

Long moments pass before he rolls away, still pressed against her side. Light fingers play across her skin raising goosebumps.

Lack of circulation from holding her hands above her head makes them burn. She lets go, careful not to touch him as she lowers her arms even though the desire to do so is overwhelming.

“I’m so sorry.” His voice is whisper quiet and full of regret. “For everything.”

It's too much. Rey can’t stop herself. His pain stokes her need to comfort him. She touches him everywhere between fevered kisses and delirious, panting breath until he’s inside her again, hot and possessive.

“But I’m not sorry Poe’s dead.” His hands grip tight, keeping her impaled on him while his words whisper across her lips with chilling clarity. “Because now, you're mine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, shit.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben pushes away from the plane, approaching Poe’s prone form until he can bend down to his level. “I don’t like losing my things, Mr. Dameron. When I lose something of value, I expect something of similar value in return.”
> 
> Poe glares at him but doesn’t move.
> 
> “The way I see it, you owe me half a million in lithium-ion car batteries plus interest. If you can’t make good, I’m sure I can think of more than one way for your wife to pay up.” Ben sinks two fingers into the center of Poe’s chest until the man is flat on his back. “I figure, at $500 a night, it’ll take her five years to pay off your debt. By then, I’ll have made sure she’s forgotten all about you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The past never dies.

Ben hears them before he can see them, their voices amplified by the vast, open mouth of the hanger.

“This was never part of the deal, Hux.”

“Neither was you dropping the shipment at the first sign of trouble.”

“Hey, even I get boarded sometimes. Did you think I had a choice?”

“You can tell that to Solo. If you’re lucky, he may only take your wife.”

The hotshot pilot locks onto Ben the moment he enters the hanger before turning his anger back at Hux. “Leave her out of this.”

“It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?” Hux says.

Ben ignores them, reaching out a hand until it runs along the plane’s cool, sleek underside.

"Get on the plane,” Hux says. “I'd hate for something to happen to that pretty, little wife of yours."

Ben turns in time to see Hux plunge two slim fingers through the circle formed by his other hand.

Poe growls, launching himself toward the red-haired man. Hux counters, keeping Poe from having any real impact. There’s a brief tussle before they break apart.

"You fucking bastard. I'll kill you if you touch her." The pilot’s out of breath, face pale with fear.

Hux smooths his hair back into place, a nasty sneer etched across his face. "Easy, Dameron. I'm not the one interested in your wife. Too skinny for my taste. No tits."

Ben leans against the plane’s stairway, arms crossed over his broad chest while he watches their altercation. An amused smile quirks the corner of his mouth. Hux could care less about tits.

Hux takes another verbal jab at the pilot. "My boss here, though. He'd love nothing more than pounding his fat cock into her tight, little cunt. If I were him, I'd make you watch while I fuck her, then kill you both."

Ben enjoys the idea of making the scrappy pilot watch while he has sex with Rey. Much to Ben’s satisfaction, Poe launches himself at Hux with a roar.

A heavy buzz fills the air, strong enough to raise the hair on Ben’s arms. Poe’s roar turns to a scream of agony as the taser wires bite into his chest. He crumples to the floor, body twitching against the relentless stream of electricity.

The buzzing stops leaving behind the harsh sound of Poe’s breathing.

Poe pushes himself to one elbow, defeat obvious in the slope of his shoulders. He yanks the wires from his chest with a grimace.

Ben pushes away from the plane, approaching Poe’s prone form until he can bend down to his level. “I don’t like losing my things, Mr. Dameron. When I lose something of value, I expect something of similar value in return.”

Poe glares at him but doesn’t move.

“The way I see it, you owe me half a million in lithium-ion car batteries plus interest. If you can’t make good, I’m sure I can think of more than one way for your wife to pay up.” Ben sinks two fingers into the center of Poe’s chest until the man is flat on his back. “I figure, at $500 a night, it’ll take her five years to pay off your debt. By then, I’ll have made sure she’s forgotten all about you.”

The threat of violence rises, swift and hot, but the pilot remains still.

“Do we have an understanding, Mr. Dameron?”

The pilot’s head slumps against the floor. "Alright. Alright."

After a moment, Ben stands tall. “Get on the plane.”

He watches Hux board the small aircraft behind Poe. As soon as they've lifted off, Ben turns and heads for his car. He doesn't want to be late for his video call with Rey.

~☆~

The edge of Florida lies a hundred miles behind them. The coastline marks Poe’s visible line of flight out the port side. He’s sweating despite the cool air in the cockpit. Hard not to when there are a thousand ways this can go wrong and only one way it goes right. Hux hasn’t said a word since they boarded. He also hasn’t let the barrel of his gun waver from Poe’s direction.

“This is going to go bad fast if your landing credentials don’t work,” Poe says at last. They’re twenty minutes from entering Tampa airspace.

“Stay on course, Mr. Dameron.”

Poe shoots a quick look toward Hux when he leaves his seat and heads into the cargo area.

“Hey, where are you going?” Poe curses under his breath, hands tightening on the controls when he gets no answer. “Hux?”

The cool metal of a gun barrel eases beneath Poe’s jaw, tilting his head aside. He dares a quick glance over his shoulder knowing it would be suicide if Hux shoots. “Hey, what—”

There’s just enough time to register that Hux is strapped into a parachute before Poe’s brains splatter across the windscreen.

~☆~

The plane carrying Hux and Poe has been in the air less than thirty minutes when Ben logs in. She’s already there, waiting, face set in hard lines of conviction. It makes him forget almost everything else.

“I need a commitment,” Rey says without preamble. “The deal’s off the table unless you surrender within forty-eight hours. After that, there’s nothing else I can do.”

Ben’s barely listening, too caught up in the image of her streaming across his screen. Her hair’s loose, the dark waves framing her face. His fingertips burn with the desire to trace the ridge along her collarbone left bare by the scoop neck of her top.

“I’ve missed you,” he says, pleased by the light blush that creeps across her cheeks.

“Ben, please.” She shifts, the movement revealing the lacy strap of her bra.

A warm thrill blooms in his chest. “You’re wearing my gift,” he says.

Rey squirms but refuses to acknowledge his observation. “This is serious. Time’s running out. I can’t keep you safe unless you turn yourself in.”

“Are you wearing the panties, too?” he asks. “Show me.”

Her blush deepens but she doesn’t try to hide the strap. She also doesn’t offer him anything more.

“Let me see.” He pushes, knowing this might be his last opportunity. “Take your shirt off.”

Her face scrunches in. “Ben, no. We already talked about this. We can’t—”

Ben pulls his own shirt off. He savours the way her breath catches before her eyes slide away.

“That’s not fair,” she says.

“Fair doesn’t have anything to do with this and you know it. Take it off. Show me. If you didn't want to, you wouldn’t be wearing the lingerie.”

She’s so still, for moment he thinks her video has frozen. The illusion shatters when she drags her top over her head.

He can’t say anything, breath caught in his chest. Delicate black lace spans the swell of her small breasts, highlighting the blush colouring her pale skin. There’s no looking away.

Glittering eyes dart to his then glance off-screen. “Satisfied?” There’s a sharp, angry edge to her voice.

Ben lets his gaze travel across her image before answering. “You know I won’t be satisfied until I can feel your skin beneath my hands, Rey.”

Her eyes meet his, dark with turmoil. “Stop, please. I’ve given you enough. It’s your turn to give me something.” Rey’s face grows larger, filling the screen as she leans closer to the camera. “You know what you have to do.”

Ben touches his screen, fingers tracing the pixelated curve of her lips in a cruel mockery of intimacy. “I do, and we’re not done yet. Touch your mouth, two fingers.”

She eases back into her seat, fingertips gliding across her lips. Her conflict is easy to see in the way she shakes as she does as he asks. It’s all the encouragement he needs.

“That’s it. Close your eyes,” he says, voice thick.

Her lips part with a quiet sound, fingers ghosting across her mouth.

“So beautiful. Now, your throat. Move your fingers down, it’s me, kissing you there.”

Enraptured, he watches her fingers trail away from her mouth, tracing along the slim column of her bared throat. The lacy edges of her bra rise and fall, matching each sharp breath he takes.

It’s too much and will never be enough. Not until he can feel her skin beneath his hands.

He opens his mouth to tell her to finish undressing when static bursts across his screen. Phasma’s image slices through Rey’s, shocking him to stillness.

“Sir.” Phasma clears her throat and looks away. “I’ll give you a moment, sir.”

The heat burning in his cheeks battles the cold disquiet churning in his stomach as he drags his discarded shirt over his head while he tries to refocus. “What is it?”

Phasma looks at him, shoulders squared, pure business as though she hasn’t just caught him undressed. “Operation Recovery. Valid sources are reporting the plane went down just north of Tampa ten minutes ago.”

Ben’s thoughts reel, jerking him off-balance. “Were they loaded?”

“No, sir. It happened on approach. They hadn’t made contact.”

“Survivors?”

“One confirmed dead. They’re still scouring the wreckage but so far, no reports of any other casualties.”

“Who?” The answer is a matter of life or death.

“Again, no confirmation, sir, but it looks like it’s the pilot.” A quiet pause fills the airwaves. “No sign of Hux, so far.”

By the time he signs off with Phasma and switches to Rey’s feed, she’s gone and the only thing left to do is go after her.

He's a dead man either way.

* * *

“Come with me.”

His words are as hot and urgent as his lovemaking.

Panic seizes her breath. She tries to push him off but it’s too late. Ben comes again, breath stuttering in time with each twitch of his cock inside her.

Rey goes still, waiting until the tension eases from his body. When it does, she shoves him off. A traitorous shiver rolls through her when his cock slips free. It barely registers against her furious train of thought.

"Did you kill him?” Her fist slams against his chest hard enough to force the air from his lungs. “Did you kill Poe?"

He catches her hand before she can strike him again. "No."

"I don't believe you."

“How well did you really know him, Rey?”

Ben’s grips tightens when she tries to pull away.

“Don’t. Don’t you dare. You’ve no right.” Furious anger gives her strength.

“He worked for me. Did he tell you that?”

“No.” It’s a denial as much as it’s an admission.

“Just like you didn’t tell me about him.” He uses her momentary distraction to take hold of her other hand. “He worked for me before he married you. Think about that.”

The implications of what he’s saying make her head swim. “No, that’s not...that’s not possible.”

She’s not in control of anything, least of all herself. Rey glides on top of him at his urging, heedless of the danger.

He sits up, dragging her hands behind his back until she’s sliding into his lap, breasts pressed to his chest. Ben holds her tight, face buried against her neck.

“I didn’t know.” His hands tremble. “When this all started, I only wanted out. I didn’t know I’d fall in love with you. If I’d have known, I would have stayed as far away from you as possible.”

Dark temptation flows through her when his gentle fingers wipe the hot tears from her cheeks.

“It’s not too late.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the interest of keeping this story to a prescribed number of chapters, the first half of this installment only provides brief _flashbacks_ rather than full chapters. It’s a new approach. Fingers crossed it worked.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey tightens her hold around his neck and pushes her face deeper into the place where his throat and shoulder join. He smells of sea salt and something entirely Ben. If only they could stay, just like this, forever.
> 
> “You’re scared.” He cradles the back of her head, other arm wrapped around her waist, gentle and possessive. “It’s okay.”
> 
> Rey’s breath hitches, turning to half-sobs when he begins to rock. 
> 
> “I’ve got you. You’re safe with me. Shh.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something old. Something new.

“Seems pretty late to me.” The words push back hot against her lips when she speaks them into his skin. Rey tightens her hold around his neck and pushes her face deeper into the place where his throat and shoulder join. He smells of sea salt and something entirely Ben. If only they could stay, just like this, forever.

“You’re scared.” He cradles the back of her head, other arm wrapped around her waist, gentle and possessive. “It’s okay.”

Rey’s breath hitches, turning to half-sobs when he begins to rock.

“I’ve got you. You’re safe with me. Shh.”

Everything’s hot and tight. She can’t think past her tears. There are so many reasons to cry she can’t name even one. It doesn’t stop the torrent. She dissolves from the inside out, swept out to sea on a ruthless, saline tide.

When she comes back to herself, her skin burns and tingles. He’s still rocking them only now the heat she feels is centered between her thighs. Delirious, Rey matches his rhythm, hips rolling into him with new purpose.

He tenses, arms tightening until he holds them still.

Rey seizes the opportunity. She lets go of his neck, hands coming up to catch his face. Her mouth crashes into his, brutal and bruising.

He grunts, lips pulling away from his teeth. His retreat only spurs her on.

She pushes harder, keeping them locked together.

Ben’s arms tighten around her, holding on as she bends into him. He lets go, bracing his hands behind him, trying to stop her from pushing him onto his back.

Rey shifts, thighs clamped against his hips to give her more control.

He holds steady, keeping them bridged above the bed while she assaults his mouth.

“Easy,” he says between hard-fought breaths.

She barely hears him, devout with the need to control something.

He slaps one of her hands away from his face. His fingers scramble against her wrist, trying to gain a grip while he struggles to hold them above the mattress.

“Breathe.” He arches into her for more leverage. “Come on, sweetheart. Breathe.” His fingers clamp around her forearm.

Ben hangs on while she thrashes, letting her burn out against him. He waits until she slows to ease them down until his back presses into the bed, Rey draped across him. Strong arms circle around her.

She’s breathing hard, cheek pressed to his chest. He rains little kisses across the top of her head until the fight leaches from her. His touch against her back is delicate, reverent.

Night sounds return to fill the spaces between his heartbeats. Rey listens, quiet emptiness easing across her mind.

“You need to sleep,” he says after long minutes have passed. “Come on. Let’s get you settled.” Ben guides her off him with a gentle roll.

She slithers away, body limp, watching as he draws the covers back.

His hand pats one of the pillows. “Head here. On your stomach.”

Rey drags herself into place. She sighs as the cool sheets come to rest at her waist when he draws them over her lower half. It’s heaven, the way his fingers trace light patterns across her bare back, almost as though he’s etching elegant words into her skin, words she can’t quite decipher.

“Ben.” There’s something she has to tell him but her thoughts are thick as tar, sucking them down before she can pull them free of the slurry.

“Shh. I’ll watch over you. Sleep, now.”

Rey does.

~*~

“Sweetheart, wake up. We have to go.”

The urgency in his voice drags her, unwilling, to the surface. She’s groggy from too much spent adrenaline and not enough sleep. “What?”

A volley of gunshots rattles the walls. Glass shatters in another part of the house, ominous with warning.

Panic edges across her thoughts as she tries to make sense of what’s happening. Shadows lash the walls, chaotic and disorienting. Her heart pounds hard enough to break ribs.

“We have to go,” he says again.

Her nudity comes into sharp focus. “I don’t have anything to wear.”

Ben’s already out of bed, settling a pair of jeans across his hips. Half-dressed, he turns to his closet. “Here.” A pile of clothes land at her feet as another round of gunfire splits the air.

“Go.”

Rey scoops the clothes into her hands and runs after him. It’s a struggle to untangle everything and keep up with him. She slows down, half-skipping in an attempt to keep moving and tug the shorts on. As soon as they clear her hips she sprints. Even with the elastic, the shorts are too big, slipping down her hips as she runs down the stairs. Rey has no choice other than to hold them up and keep going. It means there’s no way to get the shirt on if she wants to keep the shorts.

Rey balls up the shirt and stuffs it into the waistband. The extra padding holds the shorts in place and frees her arms. She slams into him when they crash through the front entrance.

The gate’s open, car waiting where they left it. A line of gunfire sparks off the patio stones.

Ben shoves her back inside and grabs her hand. “Quick, this way.”

There isn’t time to think. Rey follows without protest, her focus on getting away from the shooter behind them.

Ben winds them through parts of the house she hasn’t been to. Only the shadows move.

“My gun,” she says.

“No time.”

“We’re trapped.” Fear chokes her voice.

Ben turns toward her, taking time they don’t have. His hands grip her upper arms. “Not if you trust me.”

It doesn’t matter if she trusts him or not. She needs to stay alive, needs enough time to sort through the insanity and he’s the best chance she has right now.

“Do you trust me?” he asks.

Rey nods her assent, sure of just one thing.

Ben leads her into a small study.

There isn’t time to admire the books lining all four walls. Her attention falls to the middle of the room. A large oval mosaic marks the center. At first glance, it appears to be a variant yinyang. The contrasting colours resolve into a warrior seated with legs crosswise. Its hands grip an elaborate sword that cuts the image into two distinct halves, one light, one dark.

Her focus snaps to Ben when he shoves his hand deep inside a bookcase. There's a brief flash of green before the mosaic splits down the center. Its edges make a grinding noise as they spiral away. There’s enough light to see a circular staircase leading down.

“Go, all the way to the bottom,” he says as he shoves the books back into place over the sensor.

Rey gives him a fearful look. She can hear the stealthy tension of armed combatants edging closer.

He meets her with desperate sincerity. “We’re almost free, Rey.”

_Stay alive. Stay alive. Stay alive._

The mantra beats inside her skull as she descends the steep, winding staircase. Chill air cools the sweat on her skin, raising goosebumps. As soon as she hits the bottom, she steps away and pulls the shirt free of her shorts. They slip to her ankles while she pulls the shirt over her head.

His feet hit the floor as she’s yanking the shorts back into place. He ignores her, fingers flying across a small screen set into the wall. It beeps and goes red. The grinding sound returns, far overhead this time.

Rey tosses her hair out of her eyes, fingers knotting the elastic waistband to hold the shorts up. “What now?”

Ben pushes past her in the small space. “Now, we hope whoever we find on the other end is on our side.”

Rey slows down, unnerved by his lack of conviction. He always knows what’s going to happen next. “Hope?”

Ben stops long enough to turn and touch her face. “Trust me.”

The brief glance of his mouth on hers is enough to convince her. She kisses him back then pulls free. “I do.”

“Ready?” he asks.

Rey nods.

Ben leads them deeper through the tunnel. The space grows darker as it narrows. Rey swallows hard when her shoulders brush along the gritty walls. Ben’s been walking hunched over for a while now. It’s getting harder to breathe through the dust they’re kicking up.

“Almost there,” he says. “Doing okay?”

Rey swallows hard against the chalky panic burning desert-hot in her throat. “For now.”

He stops just before the light disappears.

Dead end.

Hysteria rises with sharp claws and winged terror. No one knows where she is. If he kills her, no one will ever find her down here. She scrambles out of his reach.

“Rey.” His voice cuts sharp across her panic. “Listen to me.” He points to a small outcropping of rock. It looks like all the others she can see. “All I have to do is touch it and we’re free.”

It takes precious moments for his words to sink in. When they do, alarm rips through her.

“What are you waiting for?” The need to escape presses down, threatening to suffocate her. “Get us out of here.”

“If you come with me, you’re in this life for good.”

An explosion echoes through the tunnel until its muted concussion blasts across her skin. She can hear bits of the floor raining down the staircase far behind them. The loss of the beautiful mosaic pains her.

He takes her face in his hands. The dim light casts his features in sharp contrast. “You have to choose, Rey.” His eyes dance across her face, bright in the darkness. “The past, or the future.”

Another explosion rocks through the tunnel, closer and hotter. It does little to help her decide. Neither does the way he’s looking at her.

“Choose, or they are going to choose for us.”

Rey has to look away, glancing over her shoulder in a feeble attempt to gauge the danger, knowing it lies, not behind her, but ahead.

His hand rises, hovering above the appointed rock. “Rey?” Fear sharpens his voice.

A thousand emotions roil across her mind. She clings to the only one she can.

_stay alive_

“I’m coming with you.”

Ben lets out a sharp breath then presses his hand hard against the rock.

There’s an odd hiss followed by a change in pressure. Fresh air streams across her skin, reviving her with its cooling breath.

Solid rock swings away. Rey blinks against the bright light streaming through the open doorway. A shadow steps across the light, moving closer until it resolves into a person.

Rey’s eyes widen as recognition dawns. 

“Finn?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter installment. To make amends, I’ve upped the chapter count to accommodate the remainder of this story. 💗


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Oh, shit. Rey, you're bleeding." 
> 
> The panic edging Ben’s voice contrasts with the warm fuzz packing her head. She squeezes her eyes shut against the strobing overhead lights.
> 
> “Sweetheart, stay with me. Come on, Rey. Keep your eyes open. That’s it. Open.”
> 
> It takes all her concentration to stay conscious against the heavy, buzzing weight dragging her down.
> 
> Time softens, skipping like a bad connection. Bright moments of clarity catch in her mind, chaotic and disconnected. Bouncing white walls. Ben's pale concerned face. The stern set of Finn's eyes. There’s no fighting the darkness when it comes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeny, meeny, miny, moe

A hail of bullets whines down the tunnel, leaving sharp clouds of pulverised rock in their wake. The bee sting bite of heated steel digs sharp teeth into her calf and left flank. Rey yelps, the shock knocking her to all fours. Gravel bites deep into her palms and knees and cheek. The pain is small compared to the all-consuming heat blazing across her back.

Ahead of her, Ben skids to a stop. He turns, scooping her into his arms before running.

“Come on! This way!” She’s dimly aware of Finn’s voice.

"Oh, shit. Rey, you're bleeding."

The panic edging Ben’s voice contrasts with the warm fuzz packing her head. She squeezes her eyes shut against the strobing overhead lights.

“Sweetheart, stay with me. Come on, Rey. Keep your eyes open. That’s it. Open.”

It takes all her concentration to stay conscious against the heavy, buzzing weight dragging her down.

Time softens, skipping like a bad connection. Bright moments of clarity catch in her mind, chaotic and disconnected. Bouncing white walls. Ben's pale concerned face. The stern set of Finn's eyes. There’s no fighting the darkness when it comes.

~*~

Her eyelids unseal, breaking the sticky glue holding them closed. A wave of dizziness rolls through her stomach and tightens her throat. Rey drags in a rasping, terrified breath.

There's a shout of surprise followed by a familiar voice.

"You're safe. You're going to be okay." Strong hands steady her.

Her eyes focus at last.

"Finn." Her throat's so dry it's not much more than a croak. "What?" Her voice gives out before she can finish her question.

He offers her a drink, waiting while she sucks greedy gulps of cool water through the straw.

"You took a couple rounds," Finn says when she falls away. "The one in your back is worse but they were able to repair the damage and remove most of the fragments."

She can't remember anything beyond the point where she woke to the sound of gunshots in Ben's bed. Her head spins, trying to recapture what’s been lost.

"Where's Ben?"

Finn's expression darkens but he doesn’t pull away.

A warm hand caresses her face. “I’m here.”

“Ben.” Rey turns into his touch, eyes fluttering closed with relief.

Her head’s a fuzzy, foggy mess but one thing burns bright and clear through the haze.

“My baby?” She heaves a heavy, unwilling hand toward her belly. The attempt falls short. Her hand lands, useless and limp, against the bed.

Warm fingers twine through hers, guiding them. Ben presses her palm to her belly. “Is fine.”

Rey dissolves into tears. Two distinct voices offer her comfort and reasons to come back. She resurfaces to the image of concerned faces hovering close. One light, one dark, they stare down at her with abject worry.

Both jump back when she seizes, back arching. A series of rapid beeps goes off, piercing and ominous. Darkness swarms her vision.

_“...move!”_

~*~

Rey surfaces into a scalding pool of pain. She retches with the sickness of it, choking on the thick saliva clogging her airway.

“Rey? Can you hear me?”

She doesn’t recognise the voice. Trying to figure it out takes a backseat to the rattle and hum jarring through her bones. They’re inside a moving vehicle.

“Rey? Open your eyes for me.”

She tries but her eyelids are weighted down beyond her ability to control. “Hurts.”

“I know. I can help you but you have to open your eyes.”

Rey fights through the pain racking her body, drawing on it for strength. Her eyes flutter open then steady.

“You with me?” A young man whose face she can’t quite place stares down at her, stern with concentration.

“Hurts.”

“What year is it?”

“2017.”

He holds up a hand, fingers folded to make bunny ears. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

“Two.” Her eyes squeeze tight. She forces them back open. Unbearable pain sears across her nerves, shocking her heart to a standstill. “Help. Me.” The words rasp out with the last of her breath.

“Do something!” Ben’s face swims into brief focus. Anguish twists his features.

Ambulance. They’re in an ambulance. It’s the last coherent thought she has before the medic floods her IV with sweet oblivion.

~*~

It takes a long time before she drifts toward the pale surface of consciousness. Unlike the other times, this one arrives soft and calm. Her eyes flutter. A wave of disorientation rolls through her with a heavy shiver.

Rey groans, eyes closed but alert. Heat throbs at her hands and knees and face. It’s little compared to the real pain reserved for her low back just above her left buttock.

Rey dares to open her eyes. Her surroundings spin before catching hold. Rey concentrates until things swim into focus. Dappled sunlight dances against yet another white ceiling. She’s propped on her side.

"Ben." Her voice is too quiet to reach even her own ears.

"You're up. I'll get Finn."

Her eyes search for him, face scrunching up as nausea rolls through her. She doesn't want to see Finn.

"Want Ben," she says through dry, cracked lips.

There's movement around her bedside. The young man from earlier inspects the IV line running into her arm before adjusting something. He takes her temperature, mouth set in a grim line.

"How do you feel?" he asks.

"Thirsty."

Finn appears next to her bedside, his focus on the young medic. "How is she?"

"Low fever." He pushes something into the IV, flooding her veins with tingling cold. "Otherwise, everything looks good. No real signs of infection."

Listening to them talk brings her more awake. They're not in a hospital. She can't tell if it's a hotel room or some other safe house.

"Rey? Can you drink some water?" The young man holds a straw to her lips.

She sucks, greedy for relief from the dryness knifing her throat. The cool water soothes her discomfort.

Finn waits until she's finished, concerned eyes travelling her face before speaking to the medic.

“Can you leave us?”

The medic makes a few minor adjustments to the machines. "I'll be just outside."

The door latches quiet behind him, leaving them alone.

Finn rests a warm hand over hers. "You sure know how to kick up a shitstorm.” The corners of his mouth turn up. Warm humour tinged with trepidation keeps his smile from reaching his eyes.

“Where are we?” she asks.

“Safe. For now.”

“Is it true? Was Poe...compromised?” She can’t bring herself to call him dirty.

The warmth in Finn’s eyes dims. The hint of a smile turns to a grim line. “Ben told you?”

Anger flares through her, striking pain into the places she already hurts. “Is it true?”

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

Her eyes burn but the tears don’t come. “How long?”

“Before you were married.”

“No! How long have _you_ known?” His pending answer terrifies her. 

“I suspected for a while but was only sure after Poe’s murder.”

Her breath catches, derailing her question about why he didn’t tell her. New pain stabs through her chest, cutting deep. “Murder?” 

“Rey, Poe’s plane crashed because someone shot him three times, execution style. No other bodies were recovered. We think whoever killed him jumped from the plane before it went down.”

 _Executed._ The word shocks through her system.

"We've traced the plane back to one of the First Order's shell corporations." He leaves her to make the connection to Ben.

It’s madness. “Oh, god. Finn, what’s happening?”

His hand tightens over hers. “Did he know? About the baby?”

“What?” The tears that have been absent floor her eyes.

Finn’s mouth presses into a hard line. “Did he know? Did Poe know about the baby?”

“No.” Rey chokes on the answer.

Finn gives a solemn nod. “Is it Ben’s?”

That gets her attention like nothing else. “How dare you ask me that."

Finn’s hand pulls free of hers to run through his short dreads. He blows out a heavy breath. “Rey, I gotta say, it doesn’t look good.”

Hot tears scald her face. “You really think it might be Ben’s?” Rey snaps her eyes toward the ceiling, mortified. “You know me better than that.” She can’t look at him.

“Do I? First Poe. Now, you. I’m struggling here, Rey.”

“Fuck you.” She’s never felt so alone.

“Help me understand. Because I don’t.”

“I haven’t done anything wrong.” Rey squeezes her eyes shut against the hot memory of Ben’s hands and mouth against her skin.

Finn calls her name until she looks at him. When she does, he plants his elbows into his thighs. He clasps his hands between his knees and hangs his head.

“Finn. You know me.”

He looks up, still hunched over. Somber eyes meet hers. Beneath his steel gaze lies desperate hope. “Unless you give me a reason not to, I’m arresting you both.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short installment. My real life took an exciting turn on Friday and it has me distracted from everything else. I hope this is enough to keep the fun going.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anger darkens Finn’s eyes. “I’m trying to help you. It’s why you’re here and not in a prison hospital.”
> 
> Under guard, not under arrest. 
> 
> They’re quiet while she cycles through the options until she has a rough plan. “I want to see him.”
> 
> Finn shifts in his chair, shoulders set. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
> 
> Sure in her conviction, Rey digs into the soft underbelly of Finn’s desire to believe in her. He’s not wrong, not entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Myrabbithole, who let me know they’ve been waiting patiently 🤗

“Arrest me?” Dread pools in her stomach, adding another suffocating layer onto her misery. “On what grounds?”

“Assisting the escape of a Federal prisoner.” Finn draws in a pained breath as he sits back. “Consorting with a known criminal.”

Rey’s cheeks flush hot at Finn’s insinuation. His earlier doubt about her baby’s paternity speaks volumes. Even through the haze of narcotics singing through her veins, she’s smart enough to know how this must look, even if it’s only half-true.

He waits for a denial she’s not ready to speak. When she remains silent, he glances away, another deep breath expanding his chest.

“How long have you been sleeping with him?”

“Finn, that’s not—” Rey snaps her mouth shut, cutting off the words. A wave of dizzy apprehension makes the room skip. He hasn’t read her her Rights yet but that doesn’t mean she should speak freely. Finn is her friend. In this moment, he is also her adversary. She wishes she could turn away but her injuries prevent it.

“Rey, we found your wet clothes together in his shower. His bed was the only one... _used.”_ Finn chokes on the last word.

The heat in her face reaches a critical level, flushing down her chest.

Rey changes tactics, fighting against the rising panic.

“Where is he?”

“Under arrest.”

“Where?” She has to see him, she _has_ to. He’ll know what to do.

A battle rages across Finn’s broad features.

“Here,” he says, at last. “He’s here. Under heavy guard.”

Hope springs inside her as a seed of opportunity takes root. It brings clarity, clearing the cobwebs clouding her thoughts.

Rey waves a furious hand around the room. “And, where is here? If this is Federal lockup, the Government has certainly upped its game on detention cells. Can I order room service?”

Anger darkens Finn’s eyes. “I’m trying to help you. It’s why you’re here and not in a prison hospital.”

Under guard, not under arrest.

They’re quiet while she cycles through the options until she has a rough plan. “I want to see him.”

Finn shifts in his chair, shoulders set. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Sure in her conviction, Rey digs into the soft underbelly of Finn’s desire to believe in her. He’s not wrong, not entirely.

“I know it looks...it looks like I’m making excuses. Let me finish this. I’m so close to busting this thing wide open. We can bring down the whole First Order. Please, don’t take that from me. Give me a chance to prove which side I’m on. Let me see him.”

Finn stares at her with a mix of solemn apprehension and mistrust. "Only with armed guards."

"No guards. He’ll never talk if there are guards. And, no surveillance.” Her eyes flick to the small dome of smoked glass set into the ceiling.

"Rey, come on. Don’t do this."

Frustration edges her plea. "Finn, _please._ I'm not going anywhere."

"It's not you I'm worried about."

“You have plenty of backup. You said so yourself. We can’t get away.” Rey reaches a hand toward him, relieved when he takes it. “Let me do this. Let me clear my name. Please.”

Finn squeezes her hand before letting go to run a nervous hand over his face.

“Fuck.” He curses again, quieter. “How long do you need?”

Elation laces across her skin, raising the fine hair. “As much time as you can give me.”

He glances at his watch, face set with concentration. “Three hours, max.”

Rey swallows hard against her sigh of relief. It’s much more than she expected. “Thank you.”

Finn curses one more time before getting up. “I’ll be right back.”

Rey sags against the wedges of foam holding her up at her shoulders and knees. Renewed pain spikes in her back and calf. A sticky, damp film clings to her skin. Bits of dried blood speck her hands and forearms. She’s sure her face and hair are just as filthy.

The door opens, sending her heart racing. It’s only Finn, carrying a datapad. He sits and turns the screen so she can see it.

Crisp colour video captures her disheveled, pathetic state in real time for all to see.

“I look like shit.”

“I’ve seen you worse,” he says.

“I’ve seen me better.” That earns her a slight smile.

Their voices echo through the datapad’s speakers as Finn turns the screen his way. He swipes through a series of motions then turns it back. The on-screen keyboard shows on the bottom third. She watches their interaction from the camera’s high angle. It’s disconcerting.

“All you have to do is hit enter,” he says.

Rey hesitates, eyes finding his. There’s a slight chance it's a trap, a final test of her integrity. His look betrays nothing, neutral as Switzerland. The choice is hers and hers alone. She knows what she has to do.

Her finger touches the cool glass, turning the video feed dark.

“Please don’t make me regret this,” he says.

This time, the datapad is silent. He rests his hand over hers for a moment before setting the little computer on the small table beside her bed. “I’ll have him brought in.”

"Thank you." Her eyes sting as she watches him leave.

A long time passes and she wonders if the clock started when Finn left or if it starts when Ben arrives. She tries to keep track of time but there's no clock and the drugs she’s on bend reality.

Waiting is the hardest part. It leaves too much time to think. There’s a brief period where she considers which side Finn is really on. She casts her doubts quickly away, marking him as friend instead of adversary. He’s given her no cause to suspect otherwise and she needs to count her friends carefully.

Poe. Her feelings are a twisted mix of truth and lies. The pain of knowing he used her aches more than any of her tangible wounds. It doesn’t take much to connect the dots. Even during the times they’d been at odds in their relationship, Poe had shown intense interest in the details of her investigation into the First Order. Mining for inside information at the least, checking to make sure she wasn’t on to him, at worst. It’s enough to bring fresh tears to her eyes.

She leaves the most painful assessment for last. There’s no way to tell when or why Ben turned his attention to her, only that he had. And, when he had, he had known exactly who she was and how to use her.

Bitter acid boils in her stomach as Ben's role in Poe’s death returns to haunt her. His denial that he had any involvement rings hollow. He’s a murderer and a criminal. It doesn’t matter that he leaves his dirty work to others. The blood of those executed by the First Order stains his hands regardless.

The queasy feeling in her stomach intensifies, tightening her throat with the urge to vomit. She’s not any less guilty of immoral conduct. Ben’s a liar and a manipulator. And, she’s no different. Their entire relationship is built on deceit.

White heat blazes across her skin with an unpleasant tingle until she finds a justification she can latch on to. They’re not the same, she and Ben. He’d known from the beginning where her lies started and where they end. More than that, he’d known about her marriage to Poe and had pursued her with unrelenting determination.

Her anguish turns to simmering fury. Rey promises herself she’s going to finish what she started by bringing the Syndicate down and Ben Solo with it. This won’t be done until he’s behind bars.

Her thoughts are interrupted by the door opening. Uncertain of who she’ll see, Rey tenses against the surge of adrenaline. His dark presence fills the space around him. The door shuts with a quiet click, leaving them alone.

The sight of him has her backtracking away from her promise to punish him, shifting instead to finding a way through the broken, tangled maze of her life to a place where she and Ben are free to be together. She can tell herself anything she wants and the fact remains that in spite of everything, she still loves him.

"Ben." Her throat's dry and scratchy.

He approaches with cold wariness, hands cuffed in front of him once more, until he's seated beside her bed in the chair Finn vacated. He's not as disheveled as she is, although rusty crescents outline the curves of his fingernails and the creases in his skin. Blood. Hers.

Her need to touch him, to make sure he’s real has her reaching out.

The metal around his wrists rattles as he pulls away. "You asked to see me, Agent Kenobi?" There's no warmth in his tone.

Rey snatches her hand back, eyebrows pinched in. She's about to say his name again when he makes a subtle move with his finger and lips, indicating she should stay quiet. His eyes flick to the surveillance dome in the ceiling. He mouths the word 'off' then makes another small movement to indicate the datapad. 'On.' Another silent word.

Rey's eyes widen as she understands. Despite Finn's promise, they are still being monitored. She gives Ben a slight, imperceptible nod.

“I wanted to thank you. For saving my life,” she says because she has to say something to maintain the charade about the nature of their relationship.

“Make no mistake, Agent. I saved myself. You were just nearby.”

Though she’s sure he’s play-acting, the cold tone of his voice and hard set of his face send a shiver of doubt breaking across her skin.

“Maybe so and I’m grateful nonetheless.”

The cuffs rattle again when he raises both hands so he can sweep his hair off his forehead. “Are we done here?” His eyes soften with an unspoken plea she can’t decipher.

Heart pounding, Rey pushes ahead, drawing on her anger at the unfairness of it all in order to play what she hopes is her part.

“No, Mr. Solo, we’re not done. Not even close.” Even to her own ears, her voice is harsh and devoid of mercy. “Regardless of what’s happened, our original deal still stands.” His faint smile spurs her on. “Give me what you promised and we’ll renegotiate the terms accordingly. Refuse and I’ll be the first person in line to testify against you.”

“After all this, you’re still on that?” The hint of his smile brightens though he does his best to squelch it.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Is this a bad time?” she says.

“We renegotiate first, then I give you the information.” Ben opens the night table drawer and eases the datapad inside.

She keeps quiet while he stuffs a small, decorative pillow into the drawer and shoves it closed. Her breath catches when he leans close.

His fingers light on her cheek, a small choked sound catching in his throat.

She can’t help saying his name when his lips touch her forehead.

“I’m terrified of losing you.” His quiet voice wavers with distress.

“I’m here.” The light stubble on his cheeks scratches against her palms when she takes his face in her hands and makes him look at her. “I’m right here.”

Sure he’s about to kiss her, Rey pulls his face closer in anticipation, surprised when he stops her.

“I have to leave,” he says instead.

“What?” Angry dread heats her belly.

“We don’t have much time so just, please listen.” He pulls free of her but keeps close.

“Ben, no.” Rey fights against his grip on her hands, desperate to hold on to him.

“Shh. Listen.” He eases back long enough to press a thumb drive into her palm. As soon as she closes her fist around it, he leans back in. “Everything you need to bring down the First Order is on that drive. Names. Locations. Targets. Banking. Financials. Everything.”

A series of loud bangs makes them both jump. “I have to go.”

“You can’t just leave.”

His mouth finds hers in a rough kiss. “I’ll come back for you. Once the First Order is gone and I’m free, I’ll find you.”

She wraps her free arm around his neck, holding tight. “Don’t go. They’re going to kill you, just like your father said.”

Chaotic yelling and running footsteps grow closer. Her heart’s hammering so hard she's afraid she might pass out.

“They won’t. I have to go.” He pulls away just before the door crashes open.

Two heavily armed men in full combat gear storm inside while a firefight rages outside her room.

“This way, sir, go, go, go!” The intruders gesture wildly, encouraging Ben to follow their lead.

“I love you.” It’s the last thing Ben says, then he’s gone, leaving her to face their mess alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As soon as they're ready, the final two chapters will post together. Hope to see you then!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey scoffs at his insistence that somehow there's a way for his fantasy to become reality. "You and I both know it's not possible, not without getting caught."
> 
> "Tell me you're not interested and I'll never ask again."
> 
> She swallows hard, steeling herself to speak the lie. The denial catches in her throat. 
> 
> "What will it take, Rey? I'll do anything. Tell me what you need and it's yours."
> 
> _You. I need you._
> 
> "Stop, please. It can’t happen."
> 
> "It can. Now. Tonight. No one knows I'm here. No one ever will. Spend the night with me, just this once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're so close to the end and there are still so many questions to answer, starting with the one on everyone's mind: Who's baby is Rey carrying?

After the chaos following Ben's escape, Rey spends an additional week recovering in the hospital. In order to keep anyone from discovering the thumb drive Ben gave her, Rey takes to wearing her hair in three smooth buns along the back of her head. In addition to concealing the drive, the rubber bands holding her hair in place have the added benefit of securing the stick to her scalp.

The day before she’s discharged, AD Raddus informs her that she’s been placed on administrative leave. She isn’t allowed to return to duty until Internal Affairs completes their investigation into her disappearance with the leader of the First Order Syndicate. Ben is still unaccounted for.

The paperwork she receives includes the official account of what happened. She’s surprised to learn that three days had passed between escaping Ben’s house and when she’d last seen him. In her mind, the entire three days melds into a single, drawn-out day. The strange sensation of lost time makes her queasy.

There’s no one but an anonymous driver waiting for her when she leaves the hospital. With the clothes she’d been wearing confiscated as evidence, a kind nurse had given Rey his spare set of scrubs so she didn’t have to leave the hospital wearing only a top and pants made of thin paper.

It’s strange walking into her apartment. Everything is exactly as she left it, and everything has changed. As great as her desire to burrow into the safety and security of her familiar surroundings is, there’s something she needs more.

After a quick change into real clothes and a redo on her hair, Rey opens an old Army ammo box that belonged to Poe’s father. She pulls a wad of crisp hundred-dollar bills out and shoves the folded cash into her bra.

It’s a short trek to the local office supply store. Rey pays cash for a brand new laptop and a near-identical thumb drive to the one still hidden in her hair. It’s the only thing she can think about on the trip home.

With the front door securely locked, Rey makes short work of logging in to the new computer. There’s a brief lag before a window pops up asking her to connect to the internet. She cancels the request then mutes the system’s ability to issue further requests.

For what she’s about to do, she needs a computer that’s never been connected to the internet. Face bathed in the screen’s blue glare, Rey undoes her hair with trembling fingers until the thumb drive comes free. She sets it next to the computer so she can fix her loose hair into a messy bun.

The drive is warm to the touch when she picks it up.

“Here we go,” she says to no one.

Rey plugs the drive into the computer.

It lets out a strange, unexpected sound before the screen goes black. Panicked that she’s somehow damaging the thumb drive, she reaches to pull it out. Her fingers touch smooth plastic as text flashes onto the screen.

_Leave it plugged in_

Rey snatches her hand away, leaving the drive plugged in. After a moment, the computer goes quiet. While she watches, a window full of text opens. It takes her a moment to understand that it’s a letter from Ben.

Before she’s even halfway through his words, tears stream down her face. It’s a painful journey to the end. Rey forces herself to reread it again and again until she’s numb enough to ignore her emotions and start following his directions.

She plugs in the second, empty drive and begins copying the information. When it’s clear the data transfer is going to take a few hours, Rey finds herself with nothing to occupy her. Although she should probably eat something, she’s not even the least bit hungry. The television holds even less appeal. She sits on her couch for long minutes, staring at nothing, mind somehow too empty and too full at the same time.

After a while, she gets up to shower. It helps restore some balance. She takes her time starting a load of laundry. As soon as the machine is running, she orders Vietnamese takeaway and basic groceries. While she waits, she cleans out her fridge and tidies her kitchen.

The sandwich she ordered is on the cold, soggy side, and it’s the best thing she’s ever eaten. A full belly further renews her energy. She burns up more time while she’s waiting for the files to finish copying by freshening the rest of her apartment. The routine quiets the turmoil in her mind until she finds there’s nothing left to think about but Ben.

_"Need you," he chokes out before fumbling at his belt._

_"Not here. Someone will see."_

_"Yes, here. Now." He manages to get his trousers open enough to pull his cock out._

_Everything about him is dangerous and beautiful._

_"Come here."_

Rey shakes her head in an attempt to derail the memory before it goes any further. Her train of thought isn't one she’s ready to examine too closely. She takes a deep breath, doing her best to temper her rising anxiety.

The laptop issues a series of urgent beeps, startling her out of her reverie. She makes a beeline for the computer, nerves jangling with an overbearing sense of dread.

An open explorer window full of alphabetized folders fills the screen. Rey pulls up a chair, eyes scanning the list. She stops cold near the bottom.

📁 Rey Kenobi Dameron

Her heart skips. She glances back through the list even though there’s no chance she missed it on the first pass. It’s easy to see what she already knows. There isn’t a folder for Ben, at least not at this level.

Dread overshadows her disappointment when she allows herself to acknowledge the folder just above hers. Not ready to face what she might find in her file, she has no choice other than to click on the one bearing Poe’s name.

A long list of individual files fills the screen. She makes quick work of scanning the file names. The two at the very top catch her immediate attention. As Ben’s letter promised, one appears to be an accounting of Poe’s involvement with the Syndicate. The second is a medical report. Both fill her with dread. No matter which she chooses, harsh truths and pain are sure to wait inside.

Rey steels herself against the suffocating fear of wading into a minefield. Her finger hovers over the touchpad for a moment before tapping twice.

The clinical text of the medical report fills the screen. Rey starts reading.

> VISIT DATE:  
> January 14, 2014
> 
> PATIENT INFORMATION:  
> Poe Dameron  
> 2187 Yavin Street, Apt. 4  
> Fort Campbell, KY 42262
> 
> MR#: 0375895
> 
> CLINICAL DIAGNOSIS:  
> Oligospermia with Accompanying Asthenozoospermia
> 
> TREATMENTS:  
> ICIS  
> IVF  
> Donor Sperm
> 
> CONSULTATION SUMMARY:  
> Informed patient of latent fertility issues. Patient asked about the probability of conceiving without medical intervention and was informed that the probability is less than 1%. Discussed options for treatment and made subsequent referrals for continuing care.
> 
> REFERRALS:  
> Fertility Clinic  
> Mental Health
> 
> FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENT:  
> None

Stunned, her hand comes to light on her lower belly. There’s no stopping the flood of tears, just like there’s no stopping the rising tide of painful memories.

* * *

Fort Campbell, Kentucky. Of all the places in the world, why does her investigation have to lead back home? There’s something disconcerting about the whole affair.

It’s been too long since she last talked to Poe. So long that she can’t bring herself to reach out and let him know she’s in town. There are so many reasons why, and the real answer is the only one that matters.

Ben. They're set to meet, the day and time arranged long before she knew she’d end up in Kentucky. With no way to contact him about her change of plans, there’s not much that could keep her from being there when Ben signs on. Not even Poe.

She’s treading on very thin ice. Their online encounters have grown in frequency and intensity. The last time she’d connected with him, his words had left her with an ache that had taken three days and a ridiculous amount of lube to finally soothe.

Without a doubt, this time promises even more intensity. Ben had made his expectations crystal clear. In response, she had dangled the tantalising prospect of turning himself in, offering him his freedom in exchange for enough information to bring down the Syndicate.

The need to hear his answer provides a thin edge of rationality she can cling to in justifying her continued involvement with him.

Rey checks her appearance in the wardrobe mirror, careful to avoid meeting her own stare for too long. Satisfied, she sits at the computer and goes live, right on time.

He’s already waiting on the other side. His demeanor eases the moment he sees her.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t come.” It’s the first thing he says.

“Have you thought about my offer?” she asks.

“I have and I want to counter.”

Excitement strums out from her belly. “No promises.”

“In exchange for agreeing to all your terms, you agree to meet me, in person and alone, before I turn myself in.”

Rey fights back her immediate desire to say yes, still clinging to the illusion that her involvement with him remains professional rather than personal.

“They’ll never agree to that. In person, maybe. Alone, never.”

“My offer isn’t to them. It’s to you. I’m asking you to meet me, without their knowledge, for one night. Afterward, I’ll turn myself in and help you dismantle the First Order.”

She’s consumed by want, wavering between right and wrong. If she can get what she needs by spending the night with Ben, is that really such a terrible thing? An indiscretion on her part could save countless lives. That should be worth something. The rational part of her screams that it's the wrong thing to be thinking about.

“I need to touch you, just once, before I walk away," he says.

His words fill her with a desire so strong, it leaves her breathless. Rey digs deep for the last filaments of reason. Sitting here, a few short miles from the apartment she and Poe used to share, gives her strength enough to resist the dangerous temptation of his proposition. Rey closes her eyes and tries to recentre herself.

"I can't. I'm sorry."

"Can't or don't want to?"

There’s no denying how much she wants to and she’ll be damned if she admits it out loud. She opens her eyes, ready to stand firm on her refusal to meet him. The words die on her lips.

She helpless to do anything but watch while he takes his time unbuttoning his shirt and easing it off his shoulders. He’s broad and pale. Like his face, dark stars form constellations across his chest. Her hands burn with the desire to touch them all.

“Can’t. Or don’t want to?” he asks again.

His eyes are bright enough to melt holes in the screen when she meets them.

“That’s not fair,” she says.

“Forget fair. You know how this ends for us. Spend the night with me, before we say goodbye.”

Saying yes means risking everything. Her marriage, her job, her reputation. Equally bad is saying no because it means giving up any chance she’ll ever have to be near him without shackles and guards and the ever-present watchful eye of the authorities.

“So, what? We sneak away to some no-tell motel then as soon as we’re finished, I put the cuffs on you?” Rey does her best to make what he's asking sound ridiculous and impossible.

“If that’s what it takes for you to say yes, I’ll do it."

Rey scoffs at his insistence that somehow there's a way for his fantasy to become reality. "You and I both know it's not possible, not without getting caught."

"Tell me you're not interested and I'll never ask again."

She swallows hard, steeling herself to speak the lie. The denial catches in her throat.

"What will it take, Rey? I'll do anything. Tell me what you need and it's yours."

_You. I need you._

"Stop, please. It can’t happen."

"It can. Now. Tonight. No one knows I'm here. No one ever will. Spend the night with me, just this once."

Disappointment and relief clash inside her. The decision has been made for her. "Even if I said yes, I can't. I'm not in California," she says, confident she's a safe distance from him.

"Neither am I."

A hot spark of exhilaration lights in her belly. She doesn't have to ask because she already knows what he'll say. "You're here, aren't you, in Kentucky?"

"Let me come to your room, Rey. Be with me, just for tonight, then arrest me. No one will ever suspect. We can make it look like you came here and convinced me to turn myself in."

His admission that he's close by leaves her without a safety net. Fast breath and rapid heartbeats have her on the verge of hyperventilating. Every word out of his mouth chips away at her sense of right and wrong, leaving her clinging to a fast-crumbling edge.

"I have never wanted anything more than I want to touch you and kiss you. I want one night with you more than I want my freedom."

He waits, eyes wide in anxious anticipation.

"Say yes. Invite me in."

She has to get out, get to safety. There’s only one option if she wants to keep her integrity whole.

"I can't." It takes everything she has to close the laptop and cut him off.

Afraid he'll show up at her door, she snatches her purse and heads toward the parking garage. The only place she'll be safe from him, and from herself, is with Poe.

She's practically running through the hotel in her haste to escape. It's as she's passing the hotel bar that it hits her. It's been weeks since she last talked to Poe. She hadn’t even had the courage to call him and tell him she was coming into town. She’d gone so far as to choose this hotel, knowing he wouldn’t dare show his face here. There’s no way she can just show up on his doorstep unannounced and expect to find refuge.

The winds go out of her sails, stranding her on an empty stool at the hotel's bar. It's no refuge but the odds of hiding from him here while she gathers her wits feels better than staying in her room. A round, or two, of liquid courage is what she needs to steel herself for the call she needs to make to Poe, a call she should have made days ago.

Rey's halfway through her first drink when the guilt steals over her, heavy and choking. Poe lives less than two miles from where she sits and she still can't bring herself to pick up the phone even though she knows she can't stay here much longer.

Lost in thought, she stares into her glass, watching the liquid disappear. It's dangerous inside her head where images of Ben undressing replay over and over until she's humming with unrelenting need.

Near the end of her second drink, Rey glances up, ready to order one last round before she calls Poe. She catches sight of herself in the mirror behind the bar for an instant before her eyes jump higher to a spot over her shoulder.

There’s no mistaking the pale beauty of his presence. Adrenaline thunders through her veins. Before she can turn, he’s dashing away. She grabs her purse as she slides off the stool to give chase.

He’s easy to spot, tall and dark and moving fast. His longer strides make it difficult to catch up. They wind deeper into the building until the crowds dwindle to nothing. She chases him down an empty hallway that used to house payphones. The little alcoves of a bygone era no longer hold phone equipment, turned instead into semi-private seating spaces. He stops near the end of the hall. As soon as she’s close enough, he pulls her into one of the dark little spaces. It’s barely big enough for the two of them.

He lands on the wooden bench meant for phone patrons and pulls her into his lap until she's straddling him, then he’s everywhere, all hands and mouth and hot panting breath.

The sudden, unexpected fulfillment of her darkest desires leaves her without reason. To have him here, solid and real beneath her, short-circuits all logical thought. Instead of taking him into custody, she drops her purse and threads her fingers into the thick silk of his hair. It's all too easy to crush her lips against his. He lets out a deep, excited sound, mouth opening as he grinds up against her. His tongue sweeps into her mouth. Rey kisses him back, fingers tightening in his hair. He uses his grip on her hips to rock her against him in a steady rhythm meant to excite.

The little space heats fast, warming her inside and out. Rey struggles to come up for air.

“Ben, we can’t,” she manages between panting breaths. Rey moans when he pushes her skirt over her hips so he can caress the tops of her thighs. “We shouldn't be here."

"Had to see you." His hands have moved on, ghosting along her ribs beneath her blouse while his lips do a wicked, devilish dance along her throat.

He's hot and hard between her thighs, the length of him creating dangerous friction that quickly ignites into a blazing inferno.

"We have to stop.” She says it even though she knows it's far too late for that.

His mouth finds hers again and she’s lost in the fierce desire his kiss brings.

Rey jerks, teeth clacking against his, when his fingers slip beneath the edge of her panties to caress her bare skin. Without a thought, she shifts to give him more room to touch her.

“Oh, god.” Rey cries out, seating herself deep on his fingers when he has her wet enough to push them into her.

"Need you," he chokes out before sliding his fingers out to fumble at his belt.

"Not here. Someone will see."

"Yes, here. Now." He manages to get his trousers open enough to pull his cock out.

Everything about him is dangerous and beautiful.

"Come here." He grips her hips, guiding her into position.

His cock dimples her panties then he's tugging the damp material aside. With nothing left between them, he drags her onto his cock, pushing against the resistance until she opens for him.

Rey lets out a sharp breath and braces one hand on the wall for support.

He keeps his hands on her but lets her take him at her pace.

The burn of sinking onto him shivers up her spine. She edges down into his lap until she's fully seated, arms cinched around his neck.

“Kiss me,” he whispers.

She unwinds her arms from around his neck so she can take his face in her hands. He thrusts up into her the moment her mouth touches his. Rey's helpless to move, caught by the consuming excitement his mouth and cock bring.

He groans, hips rocking up so she's bouncing in his lap. The little movements touch off sparks until she finally starts to move with him.

Rey ignores the ache of her knees against the wooden bench, focused instead on chasing her pleasure. The small alcove is reminiscent of a church confessional where she sins upon the altar of Ben Solo.

He groans again, hands digging into her hips as she rises then sinks back down his cock.

She does it again and this time he meets her with a hard thrust that makes her see stars. The whole mess devolves into hard fucking and hot panting kisses.

He goes rigid, hands gripping tight to try to slow her down but she keeps up her punishing pace with a single-mindedness that leaves room for little else. He makes a small, strangled sound of defeat.

"Rey, I'm." He arches, the back of his head hitting the wall, and gives one last hard thrust.

"Oh, god. Ben, no." She tries to pull off but he's stronger, his tight hold keeping them locked together while he spends himself deep inside her.

As soon as it’s over, his grip relaxes. With his cock still inside her, she comes to her senses, horrified by what she’s allowed to happen. She slides off his lap and quickly pulls herself together. He just sits there, wet prick still jutting up from the open fly of his trousers, a shell-shocked expression on his face.

"What have we done?"

"Rey—"

She slaps him hard. Before he can react, she slaps his other cheek then grabs her purse and runs. He doesn’t chase after her or, if he does, he doesn’t catch her before she makes it to her car.

She's shaking the entire drive over Poe’s. There isn't room inside her head to think about whether she's making the right choice going to him. Dulled by drink and shock over what’s just happened, she only knows she needs to see Poe, be with him. There’s suddenly nothing she wants more than to make love to him.

She can’t stop shaking as she knocks on his door, their door, really, though she no longer has a key to the home they used to share. It takes a moment before Poe answers.

“Rey? What are you doing here?”

She’s bawling as she rushes to him.

“Poe? Is everything okay? Who is it?” a woman asks.

Rey chokes at the sound. For the first time, Rey notices that Poe’s dressed only in loose flannel pyjama pants and nothing else.

Kaydel appears in the bedroom doorway wearing only the flannel pyjama top. The garment leaves her long, bare legs on full display. It’s clear she’s naked underneath.

Rey stares from Kaydel to Poe, guilty tears forgotten. “You absolute bastard. I knew it.”

“Rey, no.” He takes hold of her arm to keep her from leaving. “It’s only been a couple months with her, I swear.”

“Oh, and that somehow makes it better?” She tries to pull free but he grabs her other arm, holding tight.

“Hey, you’re the one who left, remember?" Anger darkens his expression. "What did you expect? That I’d just sit here waiting around for you until you decided to come back?”

Kaydel pushes past them, half-dressed and still struggling to pull her shirt over her head, hindered by trying to keep hold of her shoes and purse. The moment she clears the door, Poe pulls Rey far enough inside to shut it.

Wild and out of control, she lunges into him with a feral growl. Instead of fists, her mouth crashes against his. He makes a startled grunt, hands still gripped tight around her arms.

Full of wild possessiveness, she means to strike him so why is her mouth on his instead of her fists? Not willing to face the truth, she keeps up her desperate attempt to right a terrible wrong.

He fights her for a moment before something in him gives way then he’s kissing her back with enough passion to steal her breath. It’s a short, stumbling trek to their bedroom.

Poe follows her when she pulls him down into bed. She ignores the lingering warmth Kaydel left behind, intent on only one thing.

The muscles of Poe’s stomach jerk when she slides her fingers under his waistband. He isn't wearing anything underneath.

Poe pulls out of their kiss. "Wait. This isn’t a good—" He loses his thought to a groan when she strokes his cock.

Another urgent kiss from her is all it takes before he's tugging his pyjama bottoms down. They work together to get her clothes off. The feel of his skin on hers when they touch brings a flood of memories. He's a familiar landscape of compact muscle and soft skin beneath her hands.

He slides into her with ease. "So wet." There's an edge of suspicion to his words.

A shameful, excited cry escapes her knowing Poe’s cock is slick with Ben's come. Her cry becomes a moan at how good Poe feels inside her as he fucks.

"Harder." Her fingers dig into the heavy muscles along his flank. "Fuck me harder."

She arches into him on his next sharp thrust. “Again. Don’t stop.”

Perhaps he's already come because it takes him long minutes before he reaches his peak.

The moment he’s done he rolls off her.

"What are you doing here, Rey?"

She buries her face in her hands and bursts into tears.

* * *

Terrified that a single encounter with Poe wasn't enough to shift her odds, she'd stayed with him, coaxing him into sex as often as she could before she had to return to California.

Now, she knows without a doubt. It doesn’t matter that she’d spent two days with Poe, trying to wash away the stain of her indiscretion by making love to him as many times as he’d let her. She and Poe could have fucked for a week, a month, a year, and it wouldn’t have made any difference.

Soft light spills from her bedroom, calling to her. The report has laid bare the lies she's been clinging to. Her mind churns as she makes her way into her bedroom.

Rey stands before the wardrobe mirror, staring at her feet. Long moments pass before she works up the courage to look herself in the face. She’s stricken by how gaunt and pale she appears. The bright spots of colour in her cheeks speak not of good health, but of ill. She eases the elastic waistband of her yoga pants down low on her hips. Her shirt is long enough to hide any glimpse of skin. Shaking fingers pull her top up until it bunches beneath her breasts.

Staring at herself straight-on, even Rey can’t tell. Her shape looks unchanged. She turns her profile toward the mirror. From this angle, the new life swelling from her lower belly is unmistakable.

_Less than 1% probability of conceiving without medical intervention_

The medical report holds undeniable proof of what she’s suspected since those two little pink lines showed up. Bittersweet tears fill her eyes. Her hands find the growing curve of her belly.

“Oh, Ben. She’s ours.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it, dear readers. The baby is Ben's.
> 
> I hope you're strapped in because the final chapter is yet to come and there is lots of ground still to cover.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The file name is clearly a date. June first. The day she’d learned about Poe’s death. The day Ben had learned about their baby.
> 
> The day Ben had surrendered.
> 
> It’s all the proof she needs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp, for better or worse, here it is. The [mostly?] final chapter. 
> 
> Though the story ends where it was always meant to, the road here strayed wildly from its original path. Maybe I stuck the landing, maybe I didn't. In either case, thank you for choosing to spend time here.

After the stunning revelation in Poe’s file, she gathers herself and returns to the computer. Unable to open any other files about him, her eyes scan the main directory, trying to decide what to explore next as long as it’s anything but her or Poe.

She wavers between Informants and Associates, finally settling on Associates. Hundreds of folders wait inside, each one labeled with a name. It takes far too little scrolling to grasp the sheer range and power the Syndicate commands. There are too many names she recognises.

The guard at Mendota State Prison who had recounted Ben’s beating. The US Marshall who’d accompanied them to San Diego. Assistant Director Pryde. The list goes on and on. To her absolute relief, Finn’s name doesn’t appear. It's small consolation. She has to force herself to continue to the bottom of the list.

In addition to Finn, AD Raddus’s name is also not on the list. Before she can trust them, she needs to be sure. Quick searches of their names yields a small handful of documents, most associated with Finn’s name. She opens each just long enough for a cursory glance. Nothing catches her attention enough to dig deeper when there are bigger veins of information still to mine.

Rey clicks back to the main directory. After scanning through the top-level folders again, two catch her attention. Unable to decide, she goes with alphabetical order.

📁 SL Snoke

A new window opens. Two things catch her attention. The change in formatting; all files but one sit inside a second folder. The other detail that leaps out is the format of the orphaned file.

🔊 06.01.2017

Ben’s meaning is clear. With hands that have lost their ability to shake, Rey settles her headphones over her ears and starts the audio file.

> _“Terrible shame about the pilot. I never quite bought his story about why he wanted back in. All lies, of course, since now his child will grow up without a father.”_
> 
> _“Dameron didn’t have a child,” Ben says._
> 
> _“Oh, not yet. His little bundle of joy isn’t due for another five months.”_
> 
> _[muffled background noises]_
> 
> _“To other business, everything is going to plan with our next acquisition out of San Diego,” Ben says._
> 
> _“Yes, good. Tell me everything.”_

Her thoughts reel, making it difficult to concentrate on the rest of what Ben’s saying. Rey forces herself to listen to the entire recording before she reacts to what she’s heard. By the end, her personal and professional interests clash with competing resonance. She listens again and again until the two halves separate like oil on water.

The file name is clearly a date. June first. The day she’d learned about Poe’s death. The day Ben had learned about their baby.

The day Ben had surrendered.

It’s all the proof she needs.

* * *

Faced with forced time off from work, Rey uses every minute. The staggering amount of information on the thumb drive is overwhelming to the point where there’s little room to think about anything else but the monumental task of reading and listening to every file. Despite her extensive knowledge of the Syndicate’s leadership, it still comes as a complete surprise to learn that Snoke, not Ben, is the kingpin.

If she has any chance of finding Ben, she needs to return to work. Rey digs up enough information to convince Internal Affairs that her disappearance was unplanned and involuntary, at least, on her part. Within a month of being released from the hospital, IA clears her of any wrongdoing and approves her request for a full return to duty.

With the FBI’s extensive resources at her fingertips, Rey starts dismantling the First Order. She sets her sights on Snoke. It’s clear from the information she’s gathered that Ben won’t resurface until Snoke is eliminated.

Along the way, Rey discovers things about Poe that fill her with equal parts elation and sorrow. Far from being dirty, he’d been undercover, tasked with infiltrating the Syndicate from the inside. While Ben had spoken the truth about Poe’s involvement with the First Order prior to their marriage, Ben had neglected to tell her the full story. She likes to think it’s because he hadn’t known rather than believing he lied to her.

While it’s true Poe had done business with the Syndicate prior to marrying Rey, his affiliation with them had also preceded his stint with the Army. He’d gotten caught on a Syndicate job gone bad. By her best estimate, it’s the same job Ben was on when he’d killed his own father. Poe’s piloting skills had saved him. The Feds had offered him a deal. Join the Army’s elite Night Stalkers air squadron or face a minimum of fifteen years in prison.

Poe had already been in the Army for five years before she’d met him. They’d already been married for a year and a half when he’d been assigned to the investigation. The US Government had used her involvement and his prior affiliation with the Syndicate when making their decision. Poe had taken things a step further, choosing to leverage his infertility as his cover for rejoining the Syndicate, saying he needed the extra money to get start a family. 

It’s an ugly, painful truth to face. The first of many.

In spite of the distraction being back at work gives her, it’s never enough to blunt her ever-present thoughts of Ben. He remains missing. His absence grows larger with every week that goes by, keeping in lockstep with the swell of their child within her.

Every time another Syndicate pawn is neutralised, hope that she’ll hear from Ben at last rises, only to be crushed by his continued silence.

With less than six weeks remaining until the baby arrives, Rey runs out of excuses. For all the time she’s spent digging deep through the inner workings of the Syndicate, there’s one place she’s been deliberately avoiding.

📁 Rey Kenobi Dameron

Unlike every other folder she’s explored, the one bearing her name contains only a single file.

📄 Be With Me

Heart pounding, Rey opens the file and starts reading.

> _I hope that by the time you find this, it’s not too late. As I write these words, my thoughts are full of you and the upcoming arrival of our baby girl._
> 
> _There’s so much I want to tell you and yet I find myself unable to commit the words to this crude, digital expression. More than anything, I long to hold you close, to feel the subtle shifts of our child inside you while we make love._
> 
> _I lie awake night after night, dreaming of the time when we can be together again. You. Me. Emilia._

Rey has to stop to wipe away the tears. The baby chooses this moment to get the hiccoughs. Her hands find her belly, soothing and gentle against the fluttering distress deep within.

“Shh, Emilia," she says, using the name Ben has chosen for their daughter. "We’ll be together soon.”

Rey sings a quiet lullaby, the only one she ever learned, until mother and baby both quiet.

With calmer nerves, Rey goes back to the letter.

In addition to his hopes and dreams, he sketches out his plan for their future. To her dismay, there’s nothing of real substance. No dates, no times, no way for her to contact him, only a promise.

> _You mean more to me than life itself. I_ will _come back for you and Emilia._
> 
> _Wait for me. Be with me._
> 
> _I love you._

* * *

When the time comes, Rey chooses to give birth alone over Rose’s heated protests. With both her parents and Poe’s dead, and with Poe being an only child, there’s no one else other than Rose she has to justify her decision to. Her nurse does a decent job of filling in as Rey’s support through labor and delivery.

Emilia comes into the world with a gusty cry and a thick shock of black hair, just like her father’s. It’s love at first sight as Rey settles the newborn to her breast.

“Hello, Little One.” While the baby suckles, Rey counts fingers and toes, marveling at the perfect little person. It’s impossible to keep the tears from her eyes as she holds a part of Ben in her arms.

The baby’s asleep, tiny belly full, when the nurse arrives to help Rey apply for a birth certificate. The box for filling in the father’s name looms heavy and large. Rey leaves it for last. Even though Ben’s instructions are clear, it’s harder than she expects to follow through.

It’s a two-week wait before the official copy arrives in the mail. Rey forces herself to open it and read the document.

> CERTIFICATE OF LIVE BIRTH  
> Child’s Legal Name:  
> Emilia Rose Dameron
> 
> Child’s Legal Mother:  
> Rey Kenobi Dameron
> 
> Child’s Legal Father:  
> Poe Kes Dameron

She shoves it back into the envelope and stores it in her lockbox next to Poe’s death certificate. Her appointment is in two weeks. Until then, there’s no need to think about anything but Emilia.

* * *

Rey shifts in the uncomfortable plastic chair, Emilia asleep in her arms, while she waits for the clerk to call her name. One leg bounces with nervous energy. Emilia doesn’t seem to mind and Rey hopes anyone watching will think she’s simply rocking her baby.

It’s easier than she expects to apply for Emilia’s passport. She pays for expedited service, unwilling to wait any longer than necessary.

The passport arrives without any word from him.

Another month goes by, then three.

Rey has no choice other than to move on with her life. There is still work to do and a new little person to support. She returns to her job, determined to close her investigation. Every piece she chips out of the Syndicate feels like another step closer Ben.

The weeks and months drag on, and while pillar after pillar falls within the Syndicate, there’s nothing from Ben. His silence is deafening.

Emilia is a bright, energetic eighteen-month-old with a thick, dark mop of hair the first time Rey acknowledges the possibility that he’s dead, or worse.

It’s almost five o’clock on a warm summer afternoon when Rey receives the call she’s been waiting a long time for.

“Kenobi,” she says into the phone. Her eyes light on the clock hanging next to her office door. The nanny is expecting her home by five-thirty today instead of six.

“It’s Raddus. The Marshals just took Snoke into Federal custody.”

Rey sits up straight, adrenaline slamming through her system, all thoughts of everything else wiped away.

“Let me be the first to congratulate you, Agent Kenobi, for a job well done.”

Exhilaration rushes through her, leaving dark spots along the edges of her vision. There’s barely enough breath in her lungs to thank him before she hangs up.

It’s over. With Snoke in custody, the last pillar has fallen. The Syndicate is finished.

The initial rush of adrenaline wears off, leaving her hollow and empty. Seven years, the entirety of her career, spent on this singular focus, and now, it’s over. For the first time since she was a newly orphaned child, Rey has no idea what comes next.

She somehow makes it home in time to relieve the nanny. Emilia provides a good distraction but it only lasts until the baby’s bedtime. With Emilia asleep, the house is quiet. Rey’s left to sit in the strange, empty space of uncertainty.

With the First Order gone, maybe it’s time to acknowledge what she’s known for months. Ben is also gone. Dead, or worse. It’s easier to believe he’s dead because the alternative is something she doesn’t want to face.

There’s no sleep for her. When morning arrives, she calls in sick. Even though she’s home, Rey has Emilia’s nanny care for the toddler so she can rest.

Late afternoon sun streams through her blinds when Rey finally wakes. Still not ready to leave her room even though she’s hungry and misses Emilia, she picks up her phone to open her WordPlay app. She promises herself that the moment she’s taken her turn on each of her five open games, she’ll get dressed and rejoin the living.

As soon as she makes her last play, a request to start a new game pops up. Still not quite ready to keep her promise to emerge from her room, Rey accepts the unknown player’s request.

She goes first, laying down her word.

There’s a brief lag before her opponent plays.

Her name jumps out from the screen. It takes her a moment longer to decipher the other words.

_Be with me_

The system rejects his phrase but allows her name.

Breathless with excitement, she forms her next word.

His next letters fill the screen.

Her heart seizes, full of joy and disbelief. He’s here. After so long without him, she doesn’t quite know what to do. He answers the question for her when a message pops up in the app’s chat window.

_forfeit your turn_

As soon as she forfeits, new letters pop onto the board.

Rey stares at his words, exhilaration and frustration racing through her veins. She doesn’t have the letters she needs to send him a reply and she knows better than to use the app’s chat feature.

The board clears and a new, blank game starts. A message pops up.

_forfeit your turn_

When she does, letters begin filling the board. As soon as she recognises what he’s doing, she scrambles out of bed for pen and paper. Frustration makes her skin tingle when it takes a round of scribbling for the ink in her pen to flow. The little scrap of receipt paper she’s writing on barely has enough room for her to capture everything. With his message transcribed, she triple-checks that it’s written down right.

_ok?_

_y_

The app crashes, taking his words with it into the void.

Full of renewed energy, she paces across her bedroom, memorizing the information he gave her.

There’s a quiet knock at her door.

“Rey? It’s almost the end of my shift and Emilia would really like to see you.”

Reality barges in, grounding her and keeping her from doing anything impulsive. “Thanks, Tallie. I’ll be right out.”

“Are you hungry? I can make you something to eat.”

Rey ignores her stomach’s eager response. “No, thanks. I’ll manage. Be right out.”

“Okay.” Tallie's footsteps retreat down the hallway.

It takes concentrated force of will to recentre herself so she’s in the right mindset when she emerges from her room.

Emilia is all bright smiles and babbling joy as she toddles over so Rey can pick her up.

“There’s my baby girl.” Rey plants kisses on the rosy apples of Emilia’s cheeks. They’re decorated with the same marks Ben wears. She is her father’s child, without a doubt. It’s getting harder and harder to hide that fact.

The little girl giggles with delight. Pudgy hands touch Rey’s checks while the child returns Rey’s kisses with innocent enthusiasm.

Tallie looks relieved when Rey settles Emilia on her hip.

“Thanks for today. I needed the downtime.”

“I’m happy to help.”

Rey sees the nanny out before taking Emilia with her into the kitchen. After sharing a snack, it’s bath time. By the time she pulls Emilia from the tub, they’re both soaking wet and giggling. With the baby dressed for bed, Rey turns down the lights and settles them into the soft chair next to the crib. Instead of reading, she tells Emilia a fairy tale about forbidden love and evil warlords and happily ever afters.

“And, as soon as you’re asleep, Little One, he’s going to come for us.”

Emilia gives a sleepy yawn and settles deeper into Rey. Rey tempers her excitement, not wanting her pent-up energy to disturb the baby.

Even when she’s sure Emilia is down, she takes a long last look at the sleeping child, unsure what tomorrow will bring, only sure that it will be different than today and all the other days since he left.

There’s no possibility their communication will include video. Rey checks her appearance just the same. She’s disappointed and reassured when she logs in. What waits on the other side isn’t Ben, not in the true sense. It’s only a pre-programmed message containing the final steps of her journey.

_You know what you have to do_

Rey stays up late making all the arrangements. When she’s gone as far as she can, her bed welcomes her in like an old friend saying goodbye. She’s asleep as soon as her head touches the pillow.

* * *

“Venice. Really. With a child.”

Rey blows an exasperated breath into the phone. “Yes, Rose. Venice.”

“What’s wrong with Santa Barbara? It’s warm, has beaches, and it doesn’t require international travel with a small child. Which is a nightmare, by the way.”

“I know it sounds crazy. It probably is. But I need this, Rose. I need to disconnect from all this, just for a few weeks." Rey swallows her guilt, preparing to tell a shameful lie and hopefully, one of her last. "Poe and I spent our honeymoon in Venice. I want to take Emilia to a place where her father and I spent time being happy."

"Uhm, Kentucky?"

"We weren't happy there, Rose. Not like we were on our honeymoon."

Rose finally concedes. "Okay, I guess I understand. Well, I don't, but I believe you do, and that's enough for me."

They talk a while longer before saying goodbye. Rose doesn't know but Rey does. It's the last time she'll be able to talk to Rose. Sadness and a deep sense of loss come with the knowledge.

There are a thousand ways this can go wrong, and only one way it goes right.

It’s a warm summer morning the day Rey begins her journey. A hired car takes her and the baby to the international terminal at the airport.

Fifteen hours later, Rey steps off the plane in Venice, a cranky baby squirming in her arms. The baby isn’t the only one who’s cranky. Rose was right. International travel with a small child is brutal. They take a taxi to the hotel and fall into bed, asleep the moment they lay down even though it’s only ten in the morning.

It’s early afternoon the next day before Rey’s rested enough to venture out. As eager as she is to start the next leg of their journey, the desire for fresh food takes precedent. There’s a little market a short walk from the hotel. Rey buys warm bread and soft cheese and a rainbow of different tomatoes. She and Emilia eat every last bite.

With both their bellies full, Rey makes her way deeper into the city centre. Her destination is a bland, nondescript _deposito bagaglia_ , one of many this close to the airport. There’s no trouble as she takes possession of a bag she’s never set eyes on before. It’s a short taxi ride back to the hotel.

Emilia’s engrossed in an episode of _Penny on M.A.R.S.,_ leaving Rey free to examine the bag’s contents. The main compartments hold clothes for her and Emilia but it’s the envelope tucked into the mesh pocket that Rey’s most interested in.

The manila envelope is heavier than she expects. Something small fattens the bottom corner. Rey tilts the envelope, listening to the small object slide to the opposite corner. Whatever it is, it has some weight to it.

Anticipation tingles across her skin when she unseals the envelope and dumps its contents onto the bed. Two dark blue British passports tumble out along with two thick sheets of folded paper. She gives the envelope a quick shake, allowing the final item to slide free. It catches the sun in a riot of sparkles as it falls to the duvet.

Rey picks up the ring, heart overflowing. A tiny tag hangs from the silver band.

> _Will you marry me?_

“Yes.” She answers out loud because it feels like the right way to respond as she slips the ring onto her finger. It's a perfect fit. Rey dabs away the dampness from her eyes and moves on. There isn’t time to waste on sentimental feelings.

Inside the first passport, Emilia’s face smiles out at her. Rey’s eyes fall to the text.

> FULL LEGAL NAME:  
> Emilia Rose Nabirye

Rey makes quick work of opening the second passport and reading the same information.

> FULL LEGAL NAME:  
> Rey Skywalker Nabirye

There's also a birth certificate for Emilia. Unlike the original, this one has one very big change.

> CHILD’S LEGAL FATHER:  
> Benjamin Organa Nabirye

Seeing Ben listed as Emilia’s father moves her like nothing else has. Rey bursts into tears, overwhelmed by relief at no longer having to live that lie. They still have so far to go before they’re together again but for now, his love surrounds her in a bright halo of joy.

Emilia climbs into her lap. The little girl’s face scrunches up as she prepares to cry. “Mama, sad?”

“Oh, baby, no.” Rey kisses the little girl’s cheeks and hugs her close. “Mama’s not sad. Mama’s never been happier. Just a little while longer before we’re together with Daddy.”

As eager as she is to see Ben, Rey sticks to their plan. Over the next three days, Rey takes Emilia to different historical locations throughout the city. Though she goes mostly for show, Rey can't help but be impressed by everything the beautiful city offers.

On her last night as Rey Kenobi Dameron, she bundles Emilia up and heads for the waterfront. A jaunty gondolier greets them with a smile and helps them into the boat. This feels like a waste of time but as the clock ticks down, she finds herself feeling more and more superstitious about not deviating from the plan.

Rey does her best to enjoy the ride, listening as the gondolier tells her stories of the buildings they pass. The sun hangs low in the sky, leaving a chill to the air. They’ve passed numerous bridges spanning the canal along the way but the one they’re headed for is the only one the gondolier mentions.

“We are coming to the Bridge of Sighs," he says. "It's said that if a couple in a gondola kisses as they pass under the bridge at sunset, their love will last forever.”

Understanding dawns, bright and clear. Rey kisses Emilia’s rosy cheek as they glide beneath the bridge. In the distance, the bells of St. Mark’s begin their tolling melody.

Four hours later, Rey and Emilia Dameron vanish into thin air, leaving behind all their belongings, including their US travel documents, in an abandoned hotel room in Venice.

A day later and half a world away, a new mother and daughter wink into existence when they clear customs through Saigon. There are no issues or delays. Nervous excitement keeps Rey’s pace quick as she follows the signs through the terminal toward the airport’s transportation hub.

It’s easy to spot what she’s looking for. A small, brown-skinned man in a dark suit holds a sign with the key to her final journey home.

> _Be With Me_

The hand-lettered words kickstart her pulse, renewing her energy. The driver explains in accented English that the car trip will take four hours and asks if she’d like to freshen up and eat before they leave. She declines, so eager to reach him she doesn’t want to waste any more time.

The glittering cityscape falls behind as they drive west out of the city centre. They cross through natural landscapes as desolate and beautiful as they are unfamiliar. It gives her a sense of detached isolation. Perhaps that’s why he chose a place so far from civilisation. As the hours grow shorter, dread and nervous excitement clash inside her belly.

There’s relief when the driver announces they are only twenty minutes from their destination. She can see the rise of a small city on the horizon, the first in hours, and beyond that, the bright turquoise waters of the East Sea.

Emilia is fast asleep in her car seat when the driver pulls up to a private, gated residence. Rey’s heart pounds against her ribs and her palms are slick from nervous energy.

"Little Sweetpea, time to wake up." The baby stirs when Rey brushes damp strands of dark hair off her forehead. "There's my girl."

Emilia whimpers until Rey releases her from the straps holding her in the seat and gathers her close. She comforts the child while the gates swing open.

Her heart leaps at the sight of him, waiting just beyond the other side. He's kept his goatee but cut his hair shorter.

"Let me out," she says to the startled driver. "Stop the car. Let me out."

The car has barely rolled to a stop before she's out, Emilia in her arms. It's difficult to run with the baby but he makes up for the difference, closing the distance in no time.

Strong arms wrap around her, warm and true. They speak over each other, giving up on words in favour of a kiss. It's rough and misaligned and tastes of sweet victory. The chaste nature of their greeting deepens into something more as it slows down. Only Emilia’s cry of protest is enough to break them apart.

Rey shifts the child higher on her hip and rests her free hand on his cheek.

"Ben."

There are tears in his eyes when he turns his attention to the little girl.

"Hey there, Little One." Ben's eyes slide to Rey for a moment, full of the purest love before reaching for the child. "Can I hold you?"

To Rey's surprise, Emilia lets go of her, reaching her little arms toward him.

He makes a strangled, joyful sound as he lifts Emilia into his arms. She squeals with delight as he spins them around. Rey watches him come to a stop, child held close. It's her turn to declare her joy as Emilia rests her chubby hands on Ben's cheeks.

"Who dis, Mama?"

"It's Daddy, Emilia. We're home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END
> 
> What's that? You want to know what happened to the reunion sex? Would you kill me if I said there's a good chance it's coming? Part of me wonders, though, whether it's best to leave it right here.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments make a writer’s world go round, like air to breathe.


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